Ah, but in real life, Johnny is last chair with the preschool band.
War of the Colossal Beast (movie)
S3War of the Colossal Beast
[Joyce Manning and others, looking for her giant brother Glenn, are in a Jeep rolling down a Mexican back-country road.]
JCJoel, Crow, Servo [as Car Occupants]
[singing to "99 Bottles of Beer"]
100 years of solitude, 100 years of solitude!
Take one down, pass it around,
99 years of solitude!
S3The Unearthly
[Teacher Miss Martin demonstates good posture by walking slowly and stately.]
...eyes are straight, the abdomen is in, the back is straight. Arms swing easily at the sides.
SAServo [as Narrator]
Here, she re-enacts her first DUI.
[One of the girls is in her room, practicing her posture, when she notices her clown doll Bombo slumping on the dresser.]
Doesn't Bombo look tired?
CCrow
Yes, very much so.
[The girl makes the doll sit upright.]
JAJoel [as Bombo]
No, no, no, no! MY SPINE! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!
[Servo makes broken spine noises]
[A montage of scenes show the posture-pal kids correcting each other's posture.]
Ah, they're gonna take this for about a half-hour before they end up killing each other.
[Tommy and Jimmy are writing at a blackboard; Jimmy draws a crude image of a house leaning to one side]
Tommy reminds Jimmy--
Hmm-hmm-hmm, that's you!
--when Jimmy stands off-balance.
CACrow [as Narrator]
Tears of shame pour down Tommy's face.
JAJoel [as Jimmy]
Ms. Martin! Tommy drew a bong!
Heh-heh... what?
[A silohuette appears on screen]
CCrow
Hey, it's Hitchcock!
Yeah, after Slim-Fast!
[All sing the Alfred Hitchcock Presents theme]
Appreciating Our Parents (short)
[Little Tommy examines his neatened room. He looks in his closet.]
Yesterday, Tommy tore the sleeve of his favorite cowboy shirt...
SAServo [as Narrator]
...in a prison break.
...and now, it's mended as good as new.
JAJoel [as Narrator]
Tommy's the Lathe of Heaven.
The Unearthly (movie)
[The camera focuses on Dr. Conway (lantern-jawed John Carradine) as he reassures new patient Grace.]
Hey, John -- why the long face, pal?
[Stress patient Natalie enters Dr. Conway's office for an appointment.]
SSharon
Sit down, Natalie, and I'll tell him you're here.
[Dr. Gilchrist turns to enter Dr. Conway's inner office.]
CACrow [as Sharon]
NUTCASE NATALIE'S HERE!
[During Dr. Conway's mournful after-dinner organ performance, Mark gets up to check on Natalie.]
SSharon
Don't you enjoy the doctor's music?
CACrow [as Mark]
Yeah, that's why I'm leavin'.
. . .
[Conway's piece enters a repetitive passage.]
CACrow [as Conway]
I'm sorry, I can't think of the ending!
SAServo [as Groucho]
I can't think of anything else!
[Lobo enters the room full of Dr. Conway's guests.]
LLobo
Time for go to bed!
Well said.
[Danny is telling a long, shaggy-dog story about a giant and Ferdinand the bull to keep Dr. Conway's dim-witted servant Lobo occupied.]
His story has a better plot than this movie...
S3Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
[Joel asks the Bots what they want for Christmas.]
CCrow
I wanna decide who lives and who dies!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.