Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[Raiders attack the shuttlecraft, in scenes lifted from 1978's "Battlestar Galactica"]
Mike: Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons.
Mike: Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons.
[Ray "Crash" Corrigan is given a physical by Naval doctors.]
Doctor #1: Fine chap. I wish we had more like him!
Crow [as Doctor #2]: Keep your mind on your work, Ron. You're in enough trouble as it is!
Doctor #2: He'll make a fine Naval officer.
Servo: He'll make several of them!
Attack of the Giant Leeches (movie)
Doctor #1: Fine chap. I wish we had more like him!
Crow [as Doctor #2]: Keep your mind on your work, Ron. You're in enough trouble as it is!
Doctor #2: He'll make a fine Naval officer.
Servo: He'll make several of them!
Attack of the Giant Leeches (movie)
[Reading the opening cards]
Servo: Cheating: How to make it work for you at home and on the job.
Crow: A Centron production, although we got the idea from a different company, because we're cheating!
Servo: Cheating: How to make it work for you at home and on the job.
Crow: A Centron production, although we got the idea from a different company, because we're cheating!
[Reading the title card]
Servo: Is this love, or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
Servo: Is this love, or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
[Red is explaining the details of his plan]
Red: Say a young woman goes down there and berates the way he does business...?
Crow [as Red]: Say I'm starring in Forever Plaid!
Red: Say a young woman goes down there and berates the way he does business...?
Crow [as Red]: Say I'm starring in Forever Plaid!
[Repeated Lines]
Dr. Forrester and Frank: DEEEEEEEP HUUUURRRRTING! DEEEEEEEP HUUUURRRRTING!
Dr. Forrester and Frank: DEEEEEEEP HUUUURRRRTING! DEEEEEEEP HUUUURRRRTING!
[Reporter Moon Grey tries to expose Clark's plot.]
Crow: A fascist Italian? Come on!!
Crow: A fascist Italian? Come on!!
[Returning home from school, a dejected Buzz fends off his mother's concern.]
Buzz: Nah, I better get upstairs, and... do the reading.
Buzz's Mother: All right, dear. Oh, and Buzz...?
Crow [as Buzz's Mother]: This time, don't make so much noise when you "read."
Buzz: Nah, I better get upstairs, and... do the reading.
Buzz's Mother: All right, dear. Oh, and Buzz...?
Crow [as Buzz's Mother]: This time, don't make so much noise when you "read."
[Rick Knight confronts his brother Jeff about an incriminating videotape.]
Rick: You knew about the tape, didn't you?
Jeff: Yeah. You saw the tape?
Rick: Yeah, and it's scary.
Crow [as Rick]: Adam Sandler's in it.
Rick: You knew about the tape, didn't you?
Jeff: Yeah. You saw the tape?
Rick: Yeah, and it's scary.
Crow [as Rick]: Adam Sandler's in it.
[Ro-Man clumsily struggles with Alice and Roy.]
Joel: That, ladies and gentlemen, is the destroyer of the universe. I rest my case.
Joel: That, ladies and gentlemen, is the destroyer of the universe. I rest my case.
[Ro-Man shows signs of weakness before his boss, the Great Guidance.]
Great Guidance: To think for yourself is to be like the hu-man!
Servo [as Ro-Man]: Me-man?
Ro-Man: Yes. [distressed] To be like the hu-man! To laugh�� feel�� want�� Why are these things not in The Plan?!
Great Guidance: You are an extension of the Ro-Men, and a Ro-Man you will remain. Now I set you into motion. One -- destroy the girl. Two -- destroy the family. Fail, and I will destroy you.
Joel [as Ro-Man]: Uh, what's number three? Do I get a choice?
Servo [as Great Guidance]: Do not violate ape law!
Great Guidance: To think for yourself is to be like the hu-man!
Servo [as Ro-Man]: Me-man?
Ro-Man: Yes. [distressed] To be like the hu-man! To laugh�� feel�� want�� Why are these things not in The Plan?!
Great Guidance: You are an extension of the Ro-Men, and a Ro-Man you will remain. Now I set you into motion. One -- destroy the girl. Two -- destroy the family. Fail, and I will destroy you.
Joel [as Ro-Man]: Uh, what's number three? Do I get a choice?
Servo [as Great Guidance]: Do not violate ape law!
[Robbie tells Wanda (played by squeaky-voiced Kathy Ireland) he doesn't want to see her anymore.]
Wanda: I thought you really liked me. You said I was special, so naturally I wanna know why!
Servo [as Robbie]: It's your helium addiction.
. . .
Wanda: Why'd you even go out with me in the first place if I'm such a geek?!
Mike [as Robbie]: 'Cause I'm turned on by squeeze toys.
Wanda: I thought you really liked me. You said I was special, so naturally I wanna know why!
Servo [as Robbie]: It's your helium addiction.
. . .
Wanda: Why'd you even go out with me in the first place if I'm such a geek?!
Mike [as Robbie]: 'Cause I'm turned on by squeeze toys.