Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[Robertson arrives to meet Nick]
Mike [as Robertson]: Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
Robertson: Trust me.
Servo [as Robertson]: Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mike [as Robertson]: Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
Robertson: Trust me.
Servo [as Robertson]: Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[Rocky Jones and Winky march in Cleolanta's men at gunpoint to meet with her.]
Rocky: [cadence-calling] Hut, 2, 3, 4!
Servo [as Rocky]: We are in a crappy film��
Joel, Crow [as Men]: We are in a crappy film��
Rocky: [cadence-calling] Hut, 2, 3, 4!
Servo [as Rocky]: We are in a crappy film��
Joel, Crow [as Men]: We are in a crappy film��
[Rocky tells Cleolanta about the United Worlds' plan to save her people.]
Rocky: They'll help you with your evacuation to a new world, which will be mutually agreed upon.
Cleolanta: They will tell me where to take my people?!
Rocky: No, Cleolanta. They'll only advise.
Joel, Servo: [singing] For yooooou!
Rocky: They'll help you with your evacuation to a new world, which will be mutually agreed upon.
Cleolanta: They will tell me where to take my people?!
Rocky: No, Cleolanta. They'll only advise.
Joel, Servo: [singing] For yooooou!
[Roger emerges and threatens our hero; after having had worms burrow into his face earlier]
Roger: You gonna be da worm face!
Mike: No, you gonna be da worm face!
Roger: You gonna be da worm face!
Mike: No, you gonna be da worm face!
[Roland Tembo strides through the jungle.]
Crow: Pete Postlethwaite in shorts? This movie is for the ladies!
Crow: Pete Postlethwaite in shorts? This movie is for the ladies!
[Rommel and Rita roll around in some grass while the scene fades using a white-out effect]
Joel: This grass... It's... drugged!
Joel: This grass... It's... drugged!
[Rommel shows J.C. how to sidehack]
Crow: It was about that time the Duke boys decided they'd show ol' Boss Hogg just what sidehackin' was all about.
Crow: It was about that time the Duke boys decided they'd show ol' Boss Hogg just what sidehackin' was all about.
[Rook sees a dark, dog-like killer "shrew" advancing toward him.]
Servo: Puppies!
Servo: Puppies!
[Ross finally catches and bags the bobcat.]
Ted Husing: Well, it's in the bag! And so Ross Allen fills one third of his day's orders. What's next?
Joel: Hurting the people you know and love?
Crow: Chasing rabbits on a mini-bike until their hearts explode?
Ted Husing: Well, it's in the bag! And so Ross Allen fills one third of his day's orders. What's next?
Joel: Hurting the people you know and love?
Crow: Chasing rabbits on a mini-bike until their hearts explode?
[Ross is violently manhandling a bear cub]
Joel: What I wouldn't give to see that cub's mom show up right about now, huh, guys?
Teenage Caveman (movie)
Joel: What I wouldn't give to see that cub's mom show up right about now, huh, guys?
Teenage Caveman (movie)
[Rowsdower again tries and fails to start his truck as the engine struggles.]
Mike: [imitating the engine] Rowsdower-er-er-er-er...
Mike: [imitating the engine] Rowsdower-er-er-er-er...
[Rowsdower and Troy encounter Mike Pipper, a crazy old hermit, who holds them at gunpoint.]
Pipper: McGreggor? Troy McGreggor? ...Thomas's son?
Troy: Yeah! Did you know him?
Servo [as Pipper]: Know him? He was delicious!
Pipper: McGreggor? Troy McGreggor? ...Thomas's son?
Troy: Yeah! Did you know him?
Servo [as Pipper]: Know him? He was delicious!
[Rowsdower and Troy enter an abandoned shack, Pipper's house, and discover food inside.]
Troy: FOOD!
Crow [as Rowsdower]: Yeah, no beer, though.
Pipper: Hey! Who goes there?!
Servo [as Troy]: More FOOD!
Pipper: What the hell you doin' here?!
Crow [as Troy]: We were eating your FOOD!
Troy: FOOD!
Crow [as Rowsdower]: Yeah, no beer, though.
Pipper: Hey! Who goes there?!
Servo [as Troy]: More FOOD!
Pipper: What the hell you doin' here?!
Crow [as Troy]: We were eating your FOOD!
[Rowsdower and Troy have lost the pursuing cultists.]
Zap Rowsdower: Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with?
Crow [as Rowsdower]: They're from Saskatchewan!
Troy: No.
Zap Rowsdower: It's a cult.
Servo [as Rowsdower]: They worship blue oysters.
Zap Rowsdower: They want to rule the world.
Troy: How do you know?
Zap Rowsdower: I've been around, kid.
Crow [as Rowsdower]: And I've been a square kid.
Servo: D'oh!
Zap Rowsdower: Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with?
Crow [as Rowsdower]: They're from Saskatchewan!
Troy: No.
Zap Rowsdower: It's a cult.
Servo [as Rowsdower]: They worship blue oysters.
Zap Rowsdower: They want to rule the world.
Troy: How do you know?
Zap Rowsdower: I've been around, kid.
Crow [as Rowsdower]: And I've been a square kid.
Servo: D'oh!
[Rowsdower is trudging up a hill]
Mike: Hey, how'd he get his pants clean?
Servo: Say what you want about the filthy, grizzled guy, he does a good load of laundry.
. . .
Crow: [singing] You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, shovin' those sandwiches into your face, singing...
Crow and Servo: We will, we will ROWSDOWER!
Crow: SING IT!
[Servo stops singing, but Crow keeps going.]
Crow: We will, we... [normally] Oh, guess that's over.
Mike: Hey, how'd he get his pants clean?
Servo: Say what you want about the filthy, grizzled guy, he does a good load of laundry.
. . .
Crow: [singing] You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, shovin' those sandwiches into your face, singing...
Crow and Servo: We will, we will ROWSDOWER!
Crow: SING IT!
[Servo stops singing, but Crow keeps going.]
Crow: We will, we... [normally] Oh, guess that's over.