[The scientists are making their way down a steep hill.]
CCrow
Carry me.
Shut up.
CCrow
Carry me!
Shut up.
CCrow
CARRY ME!
Shut up!
CCrow
Unnnnnnh...
Night of the Bloodbeast
Puma Man
Sometimes there is more truth in legend than in history.
MAMike [as Kobras]
And there's more salt in ham than in turkey.
JJane
You can't hide this!
Who is to prevent me?
A halfway smart guy with muscles and hair?
[A man is hurled out an office building window.]
We're downsizing, Steve!
[A newspaper headline is shown reading "Fourth American killed in a few days. Will there be other victims?"]
CCrow
Call our 900 number and vote.
My name is Vadinho.
CACrow [as Vadinho]
I'm an onion.
[Tony punches through an attic roof, which crumbles easily.]
Luckily they made their house out of peanut brittle.
CCrow
[Singing to the Puma Man theme music] Puma Man! He flies like a moron!
[Aztec priest Vadinho advises "Puma Man" Tony on his flying powers.]
You do not fly, but your mind does.
CACrow [as Tony]
Yeah, thanks, Castaneda.
Get moving. Comb the area. Find him. Kill him.
CCrow
Donald's only use for the word "comb".
[Puma Man drops one of Kobras' henchmen and he falls rather awkwardly thanks to some poorly synced background shots]
MAMike [as the henchman]
Heeelp! I'm falling at a sixty degree angle breaking all the laws of physics!
...
[The henchman gets dropped again]
SAServo [as the henchman]
My mustache makes me fall sideways!
[Tony seeks information from girlfriend Jane, who's wearing a black-leather catsuit with matching WWI-vintage strap-on pilot's headgear.]
JJane
I'm conditioned to keep the secret, just like everyone. I can't do it.
TTony
Try! Fight him! Fight him with your will!
MAMike [as Jane]
But my will won't!
JJane
I-- I-- I can't! He's commanding me from a distance.
Amelia Airhead.
[In his mansion, Kobras waxes eloquent about his world domination plans.]
When the world is mine, I alone will decide whether it is to be war or peace! Life or death!
SAServo [as Kobras]
Stuffing or potatoes!
Because you come from Earth...
SAServo [as Kobras]
Corn grows in you.
And to Earth you shall return!
Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.
[The bad guys, having examined Tony's inert body, drive off. Tony comes out of his trance.]
You've succeeded! They think you're dead, and now they will leave you alone.
To be left alone--the goal of every great hero!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.