Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 4
“Fire Maidens of Outer Space” · Season 4
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (7), Tom Servo (6), Joel Robinson (5), Magic Voice (1)
[On the SOL bridge, Crow's menacing dark twin "Timmy" mutters something to Crow.]
Ah, Joel… uh, Timmy's worried about Servo.
Oh… why?
Um, well, he says he should cut down on the bacon and lard sandwiches before he dies.
What?!
. . .
[An example of Crow Syndrome.]
Well, anyway, with double entendre, you can say just about anything, Tom. Like: [suggestively] "Say -- does this TV have a remote? Mmmmm!"
Oh-ho-ho, I see! How 'bout: [suggestively] "Say -- check out the arms on this jumpsuit!" Right?
Oh, right on! Woo-hoo!
All right, yeah!
[suggestively] "As far as I know, Lincoln's not President anymore!"
Ah-ooh! Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [suggestively] "She came back from the store with a bag of apples, and a loaf of bread!"
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
I got one. "If the van's a rockin', don't come knock--"
Ah, Crow! Crow. That's a little bit more direct than what we were talking about.
Oh, uh…
[Timmy mutters something else into Crow's ear.]
H-here's one! "A grinder in der--"
Ah, Crow! No!
Oh. Well, I'm not sayin' it -- it's, it's Timmy who's sayin' it.
Well, listen, I think you better learn how to play with each other, all right?
[suggestively] Say, Joel… we got Commercial Sign!
[suggestively] And now, a word from our sponsor. Poom!
She's built like a brick shi--
Crow!
… show-- boat. Showboat.
[There is a scuffle as Servo battles Timmy after getting agitated by him]
Hey! Tom, what the hell? You didn't tell me that Tommy was in here!
Timmy!
He's not supposed to be in the theater, y'know!
Hey!
All right, knock it off, there's no rough-housing in here!
I'm choking! I'm choking! I'm choking! Choking! Ahhh! H-He-Help! HE-MMMMPH!
{Servo's muffled sobs and cries of 'HMMMMMLPH!']
Joel, he's trying to kill Tom Servo!
You go out to the bridge, stay frosty! I've got a plan!
[Crow exits stage left; Joel stage right, which leads to...]
[On the SOL bridge, Servo is trapped in an Alien-like cocoon, while Crow fights Timmy.]
[moaning] Kill me! Kill me! Kil-- [normally] Uh, say, Crow? Could you please kill me?
I'm a little busy now, Servo!
. . .
[As Joel and Crow try to expel Timmy from the SOL…]
Okay, don't kill me! Sure could go for a sammich, though!
Oh, shut up!
[the dark robot Timmy first appears after Joel and the bots leave the room for first Commercial Sign]
[as Timmy snarls and attacks Cambot] Who are you?! What are you doing here; keep away! Cambot; look out!
Joel, Servo, Crow (as Atlantean girls): We, the Fire Maidens, couldn't be prouder! If you couldn't hear us, we'll yell a little louder!
[as one of the astronauts shoots the monster and it lets out a pained monstrous groan] Oh; [it's] Frankenstein!
I question the relevance of this scene.
I question the relevance of every scene.
Oh! Ow! Now, that does it! Come here, you. [He lunges at Timmy]
Hey, Tom. What the hell? Hey, you didn't tell us Tommy was in here.
Timmy!
He's not supposed to be in the theater, you know. You knock it off! There's no roughhousing in here. I'm telling you.
I'm choking! I'm choking! Help! [Timmy gags him] Help! [Servo's muffled sobs for help continue]
Joel, I think Timmy is trying to kill Tom Servo!
Yeah, that's right. Go to the bridge. Stay frosty. I've got a plan, okay?
[the specter-like robot Timmy has trapped Servo in a cocoon on the bridge, while Joel arrives with a broom to hold Timmy back as he attacks Crow]
Let go of him, you bitch!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
