[as Gage begins daydreaming about an awards ceremony in class]
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Fracties! The night where fractions come out to shine.
MA Male Announcer
It's my honor to read the name of the student whom you have chosen as your next student body president. [is given an envelope] Envelope please, thank you. [gives it to the woman next to him]
CA Crow [as the announcer]
I can't read.
FA Female Announcer
And the winner is...
La La Land! Oh, not again...
FA Female Announcer
Gage Dobson!
[the students cheer and applaud]
SA Servo [as voiceover announcer]
This is Gage Dobson's first win after being nominated for such daydreams as What If I Were a Robot With a Sword For an Arm? and Naked Book Report II .
[as Gage accepts a trophy]
Okay, and cue the bucket of pigs blood.
[Mrs. Blaylok suddenly appears by Gage]
CA Crow [as Blaylok/Kanye West]
I'mma let you finish...
B Mrs. Blaylok
The problem on the board, how can we arrive at a sum?
BODY once told me the world is gonna Munchie!
Do you think you'll ever get this Jeep running?
C Professor Cruikshank
This bucket of bolts? Of course I will! Then I'll have to think of something to do with these hands.
Hey, where are you gonna sleep tonight?
Pal, any place is an improvement over that box. Actually, I was sort of hoping I could bunk down with you.
CS Crow, Servo, and Jonah
Ew.
You're gonna have to make your own bed though.
Don't worry about me, Pal. Hammer, nails, I come prepared.
Pontius Pilate sends his regards.
[as Munchie sits at a computer, and the puppet clumsily types on the keyboard]
Okay, let's go. Let's see what kind of grades this kid's got.
He just spelled "jkfghfgl."
L Leon
[dazed] I... am gonna kill... you.
CA Crow [as Leon]
Once... I deal... with this brain hem...o...rrhage.
[after Gage punches Leon out cold into a laundry cart]
SA Servo [as Gage]
Violence is the answer!
[shot of Leon in a dazed state as the laundry cart rolls into the showers]
Wasn't football gonna do that anyway? I mean...
SA Servo [as Gage]
You just got en-Gaged! No wait, that's not it... something with Gage.
[several other classmates cheer for Gage]
GT Gym Teacher
Alright, break it up. Head for class. Gage, we gotta talk!
CA Crow [as Gym Teacher]
You're guilty of manslaughter, bud!
E Elliot
This is the most important thing I've ever asked anyone in my life.
CA Crow [as Elliot]
Can you get me out of this movie?
Gage, you should never ask for anything unless you really want it.
Is that what the puppet team said to the concept artist for this movie?
C Cathy
[interrupting the party] Gaaage!
It's comforting to see Munchie in a body bag.
[as the faces of the characters show during the closing credits]
Cathy was sentenced to twelve years in prison for fraudulent catering charges on Elliot's missing credit card.
Elliot died on the prison farm and was vivisected by the other inmates. No charges have been filed.
Professor Crookshank was arrested for hijacking and held indefinitely in Guantanamo Bay. He does not expect a trial.
[as Gage is shown]
Hang on, main character, but fourth billed? Ouch.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
