[The movie credits show: Miles O'Keefe]
CCrow
How much Keefe is in this movie?
Oh, Miles O' Keefe!
“Cave Dwellers” · Season 3
In this episode: Tom Servo (10), Joel Robinson (7), Crow T. Robot (5), Narrator (1)
AAtor
Man's destiny is predetermined.
Oh, he's a Calvinist!
[Two villains have shot Mila with a bow and arrow. Mila is able to run away, so they follow chase.]
SAServo [as one of the villains]
You idiot, we don't even have a doe license!
[Mila has been locked in a cell by Ator as a test of her knowledge.]
JAJoel [as Mila]
Let's see now, there's a superball and half a peanut and a length of kite string and a carpenter's saw.
TATom [as Mila]
What would MacGyver do?
[The narrator is introducing the characters in the film.]
After the time of the Great Forming, there was a time when the world was populated by wild, cruel, and ignorant men.
Oh, you mean the '80s.
[In the flashback, Ator the Invicible fights a giant spider.]
CCrow
He never killed, uh, that big a puppet before.
[Ator is attacked by the same primitive-looking cavemen from the first scene in the movie.]
CCrow
Oh! These must be the "Cave Dwellers"!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, thirty-five minutes into the film and we finally have our first plot point!
[Ator and Thong are attacked by invisible enemies.]
I don't believe it -- they were too cheap to hire villains in this movie.
[Ator is battling a pathetic-looking snake puppet.]
Hey, it's not slimy at all!
That's 'cause it's made out of velour.
. . .
Just cut the wires, Ator!
[Barbarian Ator leaps from a cliff in a rather modern-looking hang-glider.]
Oh, come on.
CCrow
What the…?!
[laughs]
Terrific. [childlike voice] I'm the luckiest boy in the world! I have slipped the surly bounds of Earth and touched the hand of God!
This is a little ridiculous. Okay, so… he kills a deer, he tans the hides, he stretches the skins, he makes an anodized aluminum frame, he learns how to extrude and weld… all in about five minutes, huh? […] learned aerodynamics…
[Ator glides over the castle walls, dropping hand-made bombs on the guards.]
Message for you, sir! Oh, he also made bombs while he was up there.
Looks like he's gonna carpet-bomb.
[Despite flying over a castle amidst a mountain range, Ator brings his glider in for a landing in an open field.]
Oh, he's landing in the outback now.
[The scene then switches to Ator landing on top of said castle.]
CCrow
Uh-- huh?
How'd he do that?
SAServo [as Ator]
How'd I do that?
[Ator draws his swords and charges into battle.]
Well, I s'pose he's got a tank in the courtyard, now.
CCrow
Yeah, and it's made out of coconuts.
[The camera pans over a group of snakes, which suddenly make highly non-snake-like growling noises.]
...what?
[Another pan over snakes, another set of growling noises.]
Uh... folks, we have snakes growling here...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.