A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Played by Kevin Murphy
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,542 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Crow T. Robot (818), Mike Nelson (393), Joel Robinson (294)
[To keep the Observers at bay so Pearl and Bobo can escape, the Nanites place a Number 7 move on the planet below]
Say, what's a Number 7? [the planet explodes]
ServoMike, you blew up another planet! What is your deal?
I just told them to take care of a little problem!
And they did! Here comes Mike- Destroyer of Worlds!
ServoOh God of Fire and Vengeance... stay away from me!
[The creature has just mortally attacked Lombardi as blank-faced Dr. Erickson looks on:]
Well, mmm, gosh, I, mmm... Hmm. Uh...
...
[Erickson continues to emote incomprehensibly:]
Fear? Elation? What is it?
...
Despair? Love? Joy? Tell us!
...
Concern? Passion? Hunger? What, Lance?
...
Ennui? Angst? Apathy? Gas?
...
ServoCold? Jubilant? Headache-y?
His emotional memory is the previous scene.
[Leaving the party, first victim Frank walks home through the woods.]
[muttering] "I'm okay. I don't need a ride." What was I thinking? It's like 47 miles!
I'm probably pretty tasty and well-marbled--not something I've often thought of.
. . .
ServoI was a Teenage Werewolf Snack.
[The werewolf prowls the woods during an amazingly bright night.]
ServoWell, they couldn't shoot at night because the night belongs to Michelob.
I thought the night belonged to love.
ServoYeah, it did, but it was bought out by Michelob.
[Dan walks out of his "lady friend" Olga's house before she stops him.]
Wait, you forgot your back brace.
[Mike and the 'bots all react with utter revulsion as Kester drops his pants, exposing red long underwear.]
Ugh, he's pink!
ServoI don't know how, but I think I just became sterile!
[cheering] Go spiders! Go spiders! Go go spiders!
[Ev and Dan struggle in the wind from a meteorite strike on their land.]
Why, I hope that bomb didn't land on our pile of tires and our busted refrigerator in the yard, and the rusted chassis of our '68 Impala!
. . .
What the [expletive deleted] hell was that?
Why, it's befuddlin' mah dumb cracker mind!
Packers!
[The scene opens in Ev and Dan's pitch-black kitchen at night.]
ServoActually filmed inside the thumbhole of a bowling ball.
. . .
[Later in that scene, Dan begins chasing sister-in-law Terri around the kitchen table after threatening to spank her.]
And the movie ramps up the revulsion!
This movie hates us, doesn't it?
[Dan is trying to find out if the stones he found are diamonds]
Diamonds are supposed to cut glass.
Yeah, they're supposed to, but they're too damn lazy!
[walks toward window]
ServoToo bad all their windows are made of plastic wrap and duct tape!
[Dan scratches a crude "$" into the window]
...Aryan...Nation...rules...
[excited] Will you look at that!?
[excited] I made a [sic] "R"!
[A visibly shaken Dan stumbles back into the kitchen after discovering a mutilated corpse in the backyard.]
You look like you could use a drink.
And a shower, and a job.
I found another body...
Well, good, 'cause yours is gettin' kinda gross.
[A restless mob begins to form with the intent of taking out the giant spider.]
Free Bobby Seale!
Free Mumia!
Free beer!
[Mike addresses Gypsy- who appears to have been replaced by one of the alien "zucchini/throw pillow" pods]
Hey, Gypsy; what happened to the zucchini throw pillows?
[monotone] I have put them in a safe place; and now ypu should sleep. I have prepared warm milk to help you.
ServoBut I'm not tired.
All sentinent beings- however inferior- require sleep.
Gypsy, are you okay?
Of course I am, Mitchell Nelson.
[The crowd cheers wildly at Senator Knight's campaign rally.]
Hooray for the '70s!
Shaun Cassidy for President!
ServoWe want Billy Beer!
Tom ServoOh, I don't think this is headed toward a happy ending.
Y'know, at this point any ending would make me happier than I've ever been.
This place you keep talking about, Clonus...
Is there a bar?
. . .
Professor, you know that tape will blow the lid off of everything?
Speaking of, where's the bathroom?
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.