[As Michael Landon's name appears in the opening credits]
[singing to the Bonanza theme] We got a film, and it's starring Michael Landon...
“I Was a Teenage Werewolf” · Season 8
In this episode: Mike Nelson (6), Crow T. Robot (5), Tom Servo (2), Tony (1)
[A crowd of "teens" watch the fight]
And the 35-year-old high school students look on.
[Tony, played by Michael Landon, has just punched someone. His friends look on in shock]
MAMike [as Tony]
But I thought I had a right to pick a little fight, Bonanza.
[Tony takes Arlene home in his sweet ride of a 1950s convertible.]
CCrow
If I were a bug, I'd be proud to smash into that grill. Yep.
[Leaving the party, first victim Frank walks home through the woods.]
MAMike [as Frank]
[muttering] "I'm okay. I don't need a ride." What was I thinking? It's like 47 miles!
CACrow [as Frank]
I'm probably pretty tasty and well-marbled--not something I've often thought of.
. . .
I was a Teenage Werewolf Snack.
[Tony has finished yelling at Arlene for asking an innocent question]
MAMike [as Arlene]
...and I like you because...?
TTony
I'm sorry, Arlene. I don't know why I act like this.
CACrow [as Arlene]
Because you're a jerk?
CCrow
Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a high school!
[The werewolf approaches a high school gymnast as she practices.]
CCrow
Time for your compulsory Being-Eaten routine!
. . .
[The dark-haired gymnast screams in terror.]
CCrow
Judy Garland runs out of pills.
[The werewolf prowls the woods during an amazingly bright night.]
Well, they couldn't shoot at night because the night belongs to Michelob.
I thought the night belonged to love.
Yeah, it did, but it was bought out by Michelob.
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