A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
[As the Puma Man theme plays, Tony prepares to teleport to his friend Matthew while he's driving a fire truck.]
I'm in the fire truck for USA Up All Night.
Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio.
I keep dreaming of a little man in a tiny car.
[After Kobras has been pronouncing "Puma" the British way the entire movie, the Satellite of Love crew finally gets tired of it.]
You can not escape me, Pyu-ma Man!
PU-ma Man!
Oh, is that right? Dee-onald?
You're just a small... insignificant... human being!
No, no, HOO-man being... oh, wait.
[Everyone sings along with the Puma Man theme while Vadinho and Puma Man fight Kobras' henchmen.]
Dick's Red Owl, selection and service...
Snyder Drug, we're busting up prices...
When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip...
How did Marian die?
Didn't Eric tell you?
He sat on her head.
I think the subject's rather painful to him. I'd like to make him talk about it...
Let's just say she was riddled with bullets.
Would you mind telling me? I'd like to know.
... It was a rainy day...
And he shot her.
She and Mickey had been working up there in the greenhouse. She left him to go back to the house for a few minutes...
Then a lion jumped out and shot her. At least, that's what Eric said.
The way we pieced it together after the accident is that...
Servo [as Snow] She got shot.
...while she was coming down this path, apparently it began to rain very hard.
Then she got dead.
She must have run along here... we don't know of course what happened then...
We should have called the police.
Perhaps she slipped on a leaf. The base of her skull was smashed.
Anyway, how are you?
[All-black-clad Soultaker walks down the a hospital hallway, blinking in and out of the picture.]
Johnny Cash! Johnny Cash! Johnny Cash!
[singing to "I Walk the Line"] Because you're mine, I walk the intensive care unit.
[The Soultaker opens up a stopwatch, which ticks a la the opening sequence to 60 Minutes.]
I'm Ed Bradley...
I'm Steve Kroft...
I'm Lesley Stahl...
[some jokes about Brad's car]
Ugh, that car must reek of Arby's!
. . .
I'll bet whoever had that car after him never got the smell of Marlboro Lights and Hardee's out of the upholstery!
[As Karen drives off with her uniformed Navy boyfriend, Natalie tries to call her back.]
Karen!
Sorry! Love is lifting me up where I belong!
. . .
[Natalie stomps in frustration.]
The lace on my skate broke!
. . .
[Zack comes up behind Natalie and startles her. As she spins around…]
Jeff Gillooly did it!
[The Soultaker bears down on Tommy in a convenience store.]
What do you want?
Do you have a phone, so I can call Martin to take over my role?
[Zach's friend Brad, now a Soultaker himself, is explaining the Afterlife to Zach.]
You still haven't figured it out, have you, man?
We have! Can we go?!
[The Soultaker confronts Zach at the hospital rooftop edge after a long chase scene.]
Muhuhahahahaha! You're it!
It's all over now.
Oh, ho, I wish that were true!
[Michelle comes out of the kitchen, crying after being yelled at by her drunken father.]
What's wrong?
I just found out what's in the "Special Sauce!"
I'll have ten Hershey bars.
Tin Hershey bars? Those are hard to eat.
That'll be one dollar.
I've got a "Happenings" coupon!
Can you cash a hundred?
I've never even seen one!
Fifty?
[Michelle shakes her head "no."]
Oh. Well, I'll have a thousand Hershey bars then, I guess.
[A bad cut makes Buz suddenly appear while two other characters are talking]
I'm back!
...
Anybody notice that I'm here now?
...
C'mon, I just teleported here! It's impressive!
[A series of signs that read: HELP! on the way to first assignment future soldier and war-bride honeymooning ]
Oh, so he learns he enjoys violence, and be ready to kill like, a man ought a.
. . .
[While Critter accompanies himself on guitar, Michelle moves not quite to the beat, while harmonica sounds come from nowhere.]
Honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!
So here's a puzzler: who of these two is worse at their art form?
. . .
She's dancing the specials at T.G.I. Friday's.
Well, I hope she tells us, in dance, about the Jack Daniel's grill.
. . .
[singing] But you must come down, put your feet on the ground, by and by.
[singing] You're living a lie.
[singing] You gotta come down.
[singing] You dance like a clown.
[singing] By and by.
[singing] I hope that you die!
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.