A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
[Mad scientist Dr. Davis, armed with a gun, confronts WOI head Dr. West.]
Anyone who has the chance to tap the enormous reserves of the sea… will have the future, Doctor.
In his hands.
Exactly.
Yeah, thanks for helping me out there.
[Several squads of locals have volunteered to help the police and Coast Guard track down and burn the Devil Fish, while Peter acts as bait. They pour pink-tinted gasoline in the water.]
Deploy the Countrytime Pink Lemonade!
I bet they hired every nature-hating psycho in Dade County.
[That night, the squads are still looking for the Devil Fish.]
Squad number one. Report in.
Squad number one, Sheriff. Ain't seen nothing yet.
B-b-b-baby, we ain't seen n-n-nothing yet, over.
. . .
Squad number two. Squad number two!
We done been et, over!
. . .
Squad number two. Squad number two!
Oh, they'll be number two soon enough.
. . .
[The rednecks of Squad Number Two become a light snack for the Devil Fish.]
[singing to Neil Young's "Southern Man"] Southern man, gonna eat your head!
. . .
[The Sheriff and the other squads arrive and again pour gasoline into the water.]
Well, this should take care of every living thing in the Everglades.
. . .
[The squads are playing flamethrowers over the gasoline, cooking the Devil Fish.]
Okay, now, throw in the diced onions and celery and chopped porcini mushrooms!
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for flamethrowers?
. . .
[Close up of burning water.]
Eww, someone threw a match on the Cuyahoga River.
[One of the robots doing Gumby's yardwork drives its lawnmower through the fence into the next yard.]
Hey, don't! That's Wallace and Gromit's yard!
[Another robot chops down a tree.]
Hey! That's old-growth clay!
. . .
[Another robot is ripping slats from the garage.]
Habitat Against Humanity.
[A robot head hangs over a garage door with the words, "THE END".]
Aah! They hung his head! Oh…
Now I'm ready for years of powerful Adlerian therapy, Mike.
They hung his head... oh... oh this is worse than Se7en!
Hey! His bump is on the other side!
The Screaming Skull (movie)
[Jenni, back in the house, is shrieking uncontrollably.]
Oh, great! She's playing her Yoko Ono albums.
I think the title was supposed to be "Screaming, semicolon, Skull".
[The skull is throw out the window and hits the ground rolling, landing right side up.]
Settled in a divot.
[The skull twitches.]
Woof!
Many years ago, terror stalked the land, making life harsh, unfair, and treacherous.
Jimmy Carter was in office.
[As wizard Baydool drags Travis ("Tee") away from the slave market crowd and into his shack, he tries to get him to talk.]
¿Como te llamas?
Yeah, yo quiero Taco Bell, whatever.
. . .
Comment vous-appelez vous?
Je m'appelle… Bite Me!
I was taught that those who I respect, who are wise, I should call "master".
Right, Mr. Bater?
[Baydool scares off an intruder by throwing the contents of his chamber pot at him.]
Ew, wizard whiz!
Drain the wizard!
[Lord Vultare has an audience with the Mannerjay while slaves fan her.]
Do you want me to oscillate, Ma'am?
. . .
We've rounded up a number of suspects.
…including Kevin Spacey.
I'm certain some of them are spies for the Order.
What of the map?
No word. It seems…
…chilly in here. Could you turn down your guy?
[Baydool shows Tee some blow darts.]
These will put anyone to sleep in no time.
They're tiny James Michener books!
When in doubt, rest.
You are full of crap beyond your years, kid.
[Tony, now Puma Man, flies through London for the first time as Vadinho watches.]
Yeah, first thing he does is poop on my car!
Look out for the-- oh, boy, right into the propellers.
They gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
[Singing to the Puma Man theme music] Pu-ma Man, he flies like a moron!
He has the project to rear project major cities.
A bird gets sucked into his engine and he goes down immediately.
Yeah, they'll find his black box and hear "DAH! WHOA HO!"
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.