Tommy quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000 ... TV Quotes Database

TTommy

You know what "play" means, Trumpy?

CACrow [as Trumpy]

Yes, it's where I break you in half.

S3 Pod People

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[Tommy shows Trumpy how to work a jigsaw puzzle.]

TTommy

You see? The pieces go together.

Joel

Oh, if only this film were so lucky.

S3 Pod People

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[With Trumpy's help, Tommy sees African-veldt stock footage through his telescope.]

Joel

They got Wild Kingdom on the telescope.

. . .

TTommy

You can do magic things!

[Trumpy turns to reveal his eyes blazing with white light.]

CACrow [as Trumpy]

It's called "evil", kid.

Servo

Hey, he's got his high-beams on. Hmm?

Joel

He's got Bette Davis eyes.

CCrow

Orphan Annie eyes.

S3 Pod People

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[Roxie parks her car at Tommy's service station and honks her horn. Tommy, played by the homely Arch Hall, Jr., looks up.]

CCrow

Honk if you love Eegah!

TTommy

Hi, Roxie!

JAJoel [as Tommy]

Sorry about my face!!

S5 Eegah

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[Tommy drives up as Eegah runs from Roxie's car. Roxie screams.]

TTommy

Roxie! It's me, Tom!

JAJoel [as Roxie]

That's why I'm screaming! AAAAAAAAA!!!

S5 Eegah

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[The Soultaker bears down on Tommy in a convenience store.]

TTommy

What do you want?

CACrow [as Soultaker/Estevez]

Do you have a phone, so I can call Martin to take over my role?

S10 Soultaker

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[At Summerfest, Tommy randomly goes up to a woman and kisses her on the lips.]

TTommy

Thanks!

[The woman laughs it off.]

MAMike [as Woman]

I just got assaulted, it's fun!

S10 Soultaker

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[CIA agent Tommy (pop idol Frankie Avalon) waits while sexy Helga strips behind a curtain.]

Joel

Just try to pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain.

CCrow

Try not to pay any attention to that hideous pattern.

. . .

TTommy

I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to sing. Nah!

Joel

Good one, Frankie. We'll make fun of the movie, if you don't mind!

S13 The Million Eyes of Sumuru

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Tommy quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Scenes with Tommy 8

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