Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Servo

Oh, Motorhead! I have their latest collection of Cole Porter tunes!

Uh, that's Womanschool?

Servo

[lisping] Oh, I think Thor ith fabulouth.

Mike

Oh, Deathmask ! They played at my parents' anniversary party!

Servo

And I saw Fist when they opened for Badfinger!

I think we hit a moose!

[hysterical] C'MON, TURN THE TAPE OVER!!!

Must... register... for... semester!

Servo

Damn radiator!

Soundtrack by John Cage.

What is your name?

Maciste, and yours?

[holding back laughter] Cheesesteak?

Oh, it was behind the sail the whole time!

Land! Land!

It would be really great if we found some land!

It's... the wrong land, never mind, sorry.

Mike

So... apparently, the director... has a girlfriend.

This is history's first awkward moment.

Mike

[dramatically] For the first time, people don't know where to look.

The fragile shoulders of a woman can not bear the burdens of a kingdom without assistance.

Mike

Pssh! He's talking about fragile shoulders.

Maintaining a throne demands courage, wisdom, bravery, and cruelty...

Servo

And pants!

And all the other virtues that only... a MAN could possibly possess.

Well, at least you're not pompous.

That is why you and I will rule together with me as your...

Servo

Dun-dun-dun!

...advisor.

Huh?!

Why are you yelling at me? This is my greatest moment, stop it!

Uh, if you could help me out by climbing in...

I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

[while the crew indulges in a coffee shop setting scenario, trying to avoid coming off as pretentious] It's definitely not working. ... [in a snobby tone] I've been recording my life in pastel!

Servo

The only question worth asking is "What am I going through right now?".

[as a in-house guitarist, towards Mike] You- the white male- are my personal oppressor. Oh my!

Yes, she is so great! I saw her one-woman show; her soul cried out to me.

So I'll take my rage, and box it up, and take it out with the trash!

Mike

Thanks a lot, Dr. Forrester; see what you've done? You turned my friends into a bunch of self-absorbed poseurs!

A white male middle-class power holder would say that, Mike!

Here I come, Tommy!

Servo

Okay, buddy. Slide right down!

Mike

Crow! What in the world are you doing?! [Mike pulls Crow out of Gypsy's mouth]

Hey, hey! Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! OW! Right on my hip!

Mike

Come on up here!

Thanks, Mike. I hope you don't think that was my idea.

Mike

No, I think I know whose idea it was. [peeks inside Gypsy's mouth] Hey, Tom!

Servo

Hey, Mike! See if you can get her to swallow you. It's really neat!

[embarrassed] Oh, This is so embarrassing... I don't look fat, do I?...

Mike

No, Gypsy. You don't look fat. You're a little lumpy, maybe, but not fat.

Oh, this is embarrassing...

Servo

Come on! Hop in and experience the alimentary canal in action. It's the ultimate trip!

Mike

Uh, no thanks. I think I'll pass. Anyway, we got letters to read here.

You know, Mike, I don't feel very well all of the sudden. I think I'm getting allergic to Tom...

Join the club, Gypsy.

I think I'll go get a tissue... [slowly slithers away]

I just saw a finger!

Mike

Can we go home?

Servo

Ah! Hello. Welcome to tonight's Mystery… Murder… Dinner… Party--

I did it!

CROW!

Johnny goes first to see the fish.

I like fish...

Say, these bass would make good fishing! If only they were in the creek back home.

Mike

Well, see, they were in the creek, but they've been caught and that's why they're here.

Servo

Pickles pack the stands for the pickle races!

What's this?

EVIL!

First, she feels the cake...

...then she rubs it into her hair...