[Sheriff Ben and Deputy Martin examine a spacecraft.]
SBSheriff Ben
It could be one of our missiles.
SAServo [as Martin]
This county has missiles, sir?
“The Creeping Terror” · Season 6
In this episode: Tom Servo (6), Mike Nelson (6), Crow T. Robot (4), Gypsy (2), Narrator (1), TV's Frank (1)
[The carpet/alien is "devouring" a victim, who is obviously climbing into the prop's mouth]
MAMike [as Alien]
Uh, if you could help me out by climbing in...
CACrow [as Alien]
I can't believe I ate the whole thing!
[A woman hangs laundry, consisting entirely of white items.]
CCrow
When Tom Wolfe's wife does the laundry!
[Pursued by the monster, a morbidly obese man falls over into a shallow stream and flails around wildly]
Let the current take you away! SWIIIIM!
The monster next appeared in Lovers' Lane.
MAMike [as Narrator]
…to a sold-out crowd!
Everyone who experienced that catastrophe and survived would never go there again.
SAServo [as Narrator]
And those who did not survive such a catastrophe also would not go there again.
[Martin desperately tries to disable the ship's computers by beating it with his pistol.]
Hey, there's bullets in the other end of that thing!
CCrow
[while the crew indulges in a coffee shop setting scenario, trying to avoid coming off as pretentious] It's definitely not working. ... [in a snobby tone] I've been recording my life in pastel!
The only question worth asking is "What am I going through right now?".
[as a in-house guitarist, towards Mike] You- the white male- are my personal oppressor. Oh my!
CCrow
Yes, she is so great! I saw her one-woman show; her soul cried out to me.
So I'll take my rage, and box it up, and take it out with the trash!
Thanks a lot, Dr. Forrester; see what you've done? You turned my friends into a bunch of self-absorbed poseurs!
A white male middle-class power holder would say that, Mike!
[Frank and Dr. Forrester are doing laundry in Deep 13]
I'll show you some real Creeping Terrors... these grass stains!
[while he and Mike stage a parody vignette of "Love, American Style", holding a wedding ring] Well, I'm finally going to propose to Debbie!
That's great; let's see the ring. [puts it on his finger, and it gets stuck] The ring's stuck!
I guess we'll have to get married! [chuckles as he and Mike kiss]
[Servo has appeared to have Gypsy devour him, and Crow is halfway inside her mouth]
CCrow
Here I come, Tommy!
Okay, buddy. Slide right down!
Crow! What in the world are you doing?! [Mike pulls Crow out of Gypsy's mouth]
CCrow
Hey, hey! Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! OW! Right on my hip!
Come on up here!
Thanks, Mike. I hope you don't think that was my idea.
No, I think I know whose idea it was. [peeks inside Gypsy's mouth] Hey, Tom!
Hey, Mike! See if you can get her to swallow you. It's really neat!
[embarrassed] Oh, This is so embarrassing... I don't look fat, do I?...
No, Gypsy. You don't look fat. You're a little lumpy, maybe, but not fat.
Oh, this is embarrassing...
Come on! Hop in and experience the alimentary canal in action. It's the ultimate trip!
Uh, no thanks. I think I'll pass. Anyway, we got letters to read here.
You know, Mike, I don't feel very well all of the sudden. I think I'm getting allergic to Tom...
CCrow
Join the club, Gypsy.
I think I'll go get a tissue... [slowly slithers away]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.