Simon Bellamy quotes from Misfits

Simon

He wants blood.

Rudy

Let's get him a mouse and let him chow down on that little fucker.

Simon

And then we'd have a zombie mouse as well.

Rudy

This is just getting like a zombie Noah's ark! Right, let's pull straws. And someone is going to kill this cat, cause I am sick of carrying it around now.

Rachel

Will someone please tell me why I'm here?

Alisha

Really?! You'd better not be here to fuck with us again.

Rachel

Sorry about the whole brainwashing thing. Got a bit carried away.

Rudy

Hey, don't sweat it. It's fine.

Curtis

You weren't even there!

Rudy

Yeah, I know, but you forgive and you forget, man. And I forgive you.

Rachel

For what?

Rudy

For whatever it was they were talking about.

Simon

What's it like? Being dead.

Rachel

Well, the big news is there's no God.

Rudy

Ohh, ho-ho! Thank fuck for that! I might've done one or two things that weren't exactly... Christian in the strictest sense of the word.

Rachel

Well, none of it matters anyway, so...

Rudy

Yeah, if there's no God. That's a result.

Alisha

[Appears to Simon in locker room with him watching video of him and Sally] I've always loved you. How could you do that to me? You had sex with her... in our bed. And... you send me a video of it. Why would you do that?!

Simon

It's not what you think! I didn't have sex with her! I thought I was supposed to...

Alisha

You were supposed to cheat on me?!

Simon

I was... I was trying to help...

Alisha

I trusted you! You can't do this!

Simon

Alisha... I'm sorry, I...

Alisha

Don't! Don't fucking touch me.

Simon

It's not what you think! It's complicated.

Alisha

No, it isn't!

Simon

Alisha! [Runs away]

Simon

[Runs into Tony in hallway ] You? [Grabs fire extinguisher and slams it on Tony's head]

Tony

Jesus! Will you... just stop hitting me!

Kelly

[Appears with Curtis with Rudy dry humping Rachel in atrium] So, you met the old probation worker, then?

Tony

Yeah, we've met.

Simon

What's going on?

Curtis

He's back too. Seems okay.

Kelly

Where've you been?

Simon

There was something I had to...

Rudy

[Rachel vomits] Whoa!

Simon

...do.

Rudy

Whoa, man, she's just been sick!

Simon

Has anyone seen Alisha?

Sally

[Appears to Alisha at rooftop edge] Hurts, doesn't it?

Alisha

Why are you doing this?

Sally

You killed Tony. I want Simon to know how it feels to lose everything. And I want him to know that you died hating him. [Grabs Alisha and leans her over rooftop edge with her screaming]

Tony

[Rushes onto rooftop with community server] Sally! Don't do this. Let her go.

Sally

They killed you!

Tony

It was the storm. Turned me crazy. You always said I had a temper. I attacked them. I would've killed them. It was self-defence. This isn't why you're here. You're not here for revenge. Let her go. I have missed you so much.

Sally

[Rushes forward to Tony] I never thought I'd see you again! [Embraces him in a kiss and they disappear]

Simon

I didn't have sex with her.

Alisha

I saw you.

Simon

I- I kissed her. I thought I had to because I killed her. As I was kissing her, all I could think about was you. I never want to be with anyone else. Kissing her only made me realize how much I love you. I couldn't go through with it. [Hugs her]

Rudy

Great speech, and all that. Very moving. But he definitely should've fucked that probation worker. That's a wasted opportunity, innit?

Simon

[Alisha opens a door] Where are we going? [Alisha leads him in and closes door]

Curtis

I can bring her back. If that's what you want?

Kelly

She's dead. She wouldn't want to be a zombie.

Rudy

Don't. Don't do that.

Simon

This is where I go back. It all has to happen exactly like it happened.

Kelly

What are you talking about?

Simon

It was me. I was the guy in the mask.

Kelly

You're fucking serious?

Curtis

But... but you were there when... when he was there.

Simon

At the start, it was my future self. He died... and I became him. I'm going to need to get some new powers.

Seth

Kelly said you wanted to see me.

Simon

I need Curtis's old power.

Seth

I put it in my iguana. He's dead. The power's gone.

Simon

I have to go back in time. It has to be like this.

Seth

Right, well... There is another time travel power out there. I sold it to this guy. It's different to what he had. There's no coming back.

Simon

Who did you sell it to?

Kelly

[Mets future pirate man at bar] You all right? [At table with him] Can I tell you a secret? You know these powers? Well, I'm a fucking rocket scientist.

Me too! I mean, I've got a power. I got it off this guy from the estate. I'm gonna travel back in time.

Kelly

No way!

Seriously. I am done working in a call centre. I want excitement and adventures. I'm gonna travel back in time... and become a pirate.

Kelly

I've always wanted to shag a pirate.

[Walking with Kelly in alley and comes across Seth standing before them] What's this? What's going on?

Kelly

I was lying about shagging a pirate. Seriously. Who would fuck a pirate?!

They get laid all the time.

Seth

You know that power I sold you? Turns out I'm going to need it back.

You can't have it. I paid for it. [Attempts to walk away and turns to Simon]

Simon

I need that power.

Simon

So, you all set? In the past, I could touch Alisha. The power didn't work on me.

Seth

It was you.

Kelly

What was him?

Seth

The first power I ever sold was the immunity from other people's powers. You came to see me. I knew I recognized you. I sold it to you. And you gave me ten grand. Now, you need to come and see me after you go back.

Simon

I don't have ten grand.

Seth

I do.

Kelly

You're gonna give him ten grand?

Seth

Yeah, well, he's gonna give it me back, so... I guess it's a loan.

Seth

Can I help you with something?

Simon

I want to buy a power.

Seth

Well, what sort of thing are you after?

Simon

I want the immunity to other people's powers.

Seth

How do you know what? I just bought that exact power. How do you even know about me?

Simon

A friend told me to come and see you.

Seth

You got money? That should cover it. So, what are you going to do with it?

Simon

I'm going to make a girl fall in love with me.

Seth

Right, so, hang on...