Hawkeye (about Charles): He's the only American who landed in Inchon with traveler's checks.
S10Snappier Judgment (Part 2)
S10'Twas the Day After Christmas
Last call for my mouthwatering turkey.
The bird that gave its life so that others might be ill.
A Winchester only recognizes one 5:30 per day. This is not it.
S10Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead
Klinger (talking to a post): Colonel Potter, I'd like to help in triage, sir. I'm a little shaky, but while I have any strength at all, I'd like to pitch in. (referring to a dog) OK! let's get this patient into pre-op! Hubba-hubba! Orderly!
(BJ, Charles, and Hawkeye drinking in the Swamp)
All right, what else do we love?
You love dirt?
Dirt is my life.
All right. To dirt.
And to the Army that lets us eat it, drink it, breathe it, and salute it.
S10The Birthday Girls
Do you know how to make a cow say "ah"?
Not without getting emotionally involved.
Sorry to break up this pow-wow, boys, but Bossie says it's time to call the cab.
You get her up on the table and I'll hold her hand.
Does anyone know where I can find a cigar that says, "It's a heifer"?
You coming, Winchester? I bet a city fella like you hasn't had a chance to see this before.
I've also never had the opportunity to swim in a barrel of live squid.
S10Blood and Guts
Yes, I know I didn't sign the morning reports.
Sir, it would be easier to remember to sign the reports instead of remembering you didn't sign them.
I'll remember that.
I'll bet you'd love a good breakfast.
I sure would, but I'll settle for what you folks eat.
S10A Holy Mess
Eggs? In Korea? Impossible, Korean chickens only lay powder.
You know how I like mine? Fried up, so the yolk is a glowing yellow jewel in a shimmering alabaster white.
You'd better have your eggs with a cold shower.
S10The Tooth Shall Set You Free
(Charles moans of a toothache)
Beej, don't forget, in the morning it's your turn to milk Charles.
Charles (to Korean, about toothache): What does this cure?
Hunger. That's my dinner.
(Barking an order to Winchester to eat some ice cream) Present...SPOON!
(after a drink in which a bigoted Major gloats about the casualty rate of African American soldiers)
Well mercy me, where are my manners? Major Weems, allow me to introduce Major Quentin Rockingham! Major Rockingham is the Deputy Assistant Chief of Staff for Personnel headquarters, "I-Corps"!
Sir, Indeed a pleasure to meet you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


