TV show quotes
All of Al's friends have perms
Come on, guys! Lets go out and find a fire hydrant, stick our heads in the hole and wash the gay away!
Outside, without our hair nets?
And move fast! After that, none of us care how long it takes and spare no expense, but we find ourselves a barber!
I don't wanna have sex with you. You're my wife, for Godsakes.
[stands up, clears his throat and goes to the jurors] Hello, everyone! Anyhow, my wife and I and Peggy and Al Bundy went to the Hop-On Inn to indulge in a little clean marital fun. On separate occasions, of course. During the course of our wholesome bliss, our romantic activities, the reaffirmation of the love we share, and... whatever the Bundys were doing... our conjugal privacy was invaded. Yes, we were violated by video cameras! [Marcy hides her face behind her hand.] But first I think you should hear some background that I believe is germane to this case. My grandfather came to this country, poor man...
[Minutes go by.]
Then, in World War II, my uncle Nick wiped out more Nazi dogs with venereal disease...
[ordering dinner for everyone in a high-class restaurant] Four steaks. Nuke 'em.
Hey, kids, whaddya say? You wanna go out for a nice dinner tomorrow?
We wanna see Tears and Vomit.
Well, you see that when your mom cooks.
I forgot my wallet, Peg.
He's such a nerd.
Now, kids, give your father a chance. (To Al) So, what are your going to do, idiot?
How long do you think it will take them?
Well, it took us 40 minutes to get here one way & knowing how Kelly drives, they should be there & back in about 8 minutes.
Before you see a menu, would anyone care to begin with a cocktail?
Coke.
Coke.
Coke.
Jack and a beer back.
[awakens from her sugar coma] Mom, I had the most horrible dream: I was married to a shoe salesman.
Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to do nothing, I want to be nothing.
Bud, you know what I had to do as a kid to earn money to get a jacket? I had to shovel coal, carry ice, dig ditches, pump gas.
Peggy (singing): Nobody knows/The trouble he's seen (Bud and Kelly sing along): Nobody knows/His sorrow...
Thank you very much, Bundy Glee Club. And, by the way, Peg: way to parent.
There are two things Bundys don't do: we don't eat vegetables and we don't tap.
When a Bundy is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves.
[while practicing tap dancing] Nerd-geek-dweeb, duh-weeb-nerd-dork!
"Anything Goes". That's your song, isn't it, Kel?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
