The best way to ruin a heartfelt goodbye party is to stay where you're not wanted.
S10 E1Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch, And Dinner
You know, I've always wanted a place where I could stretch out and do nothing.
Well, get in the car: I'll take you to the morgue.
S10 E2A Shoe Room With A View
Mom, I had a horrible day, and I could really use some motherly advice right now.
Shut up, Bud. Oprah is doing a show on mothers who don't pay attention to their sons.
It's a remote control override. Peg. They're on sale at the Real Man's Shop.
Well, while you were there, why didn't you pick up a real man?
Don't push it, Peg. It also overrides all of your other handheld electronic devices.
[Al is trying on shoes for a fat woman named Matilda.]
MMatilda
I don't understand, I was a size six before Aerobic class. All that jumping must've expanded my foot.
And I see you must've fallen on your butt a time or two.
MMatilda
[Picks up her sneakers] How dare you say that to my face?
Well, I'd say it to your back, but my car's only got half a tank of gas!
S10 E3Requiem For A Dead Briard
And to think I could've had any man on the football team.
Peg, you had them all.
Let's call him Lucky. Lucky Bundy.
I was saving that name for my tombstone.
S10 E4Reverend Al
You know what I'd do if my lover lost interest in me?
Sleep with his parole officer?
Like all other religions, we have a sacred obligation to make a lot of money and open our own theme park.
S10 E5How Bleen Was My Kelly
I've put all the family finances right here on this computer.
You put something I don't have into something I don't understand.
You know, that reminds me of our sex life.
That's putting something I have into something I don't like.
Mom, Dad, Bud: you will never guess what I got.
A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.
Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.
S10 E6The Weaker Sex
When I felt that hairy hand go in my pocket, I naturally assumed it was Peg.
I think I got a way to put an end to all of this.
Well, if you got the tailpipe, I got the lips.
S10 E7Flight Of The Bumblebee
Wow, we must have gone back in time 'cause I'm experiencing déjà moo.
Now, that is a real man, not some high school football hero who got married and turned to mush.
Well, I guess it's true what they say: you are what you marry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.