[Lilo and Stitch return home after losing Amnesio to Gantu]
We lost our memories, we lost an experiment to Gantu, and no one remembered my birthday.
Oh... [gets an idea] Etaba! [climbs a palm tree and gnaws it into a giant tiki totem pole] Happy Birthday!
Ah, you didn't have to make me a present. I remember my ohana. That's the greatest gift of all. Even if they forget my birthday.
[Lilo and Stitch enter the house and lights go on]
NDNani, David, Jumba, Pleakley, and Cobra Bubbles
SURPRISE!
COCONUT CAKE! [grabs Lilo's cake and eats in 5 seconds flat, but leaves one slice for Lilo]
I thought you all forgot.
Lilo, how could I ever forget your birthday? Remember what ohana means?
SJStitch, Jumba, Pleakley, David, and Cobra Bubbles
Or forgotten.
Oh, yeah! I forgot that part.
[Gantu sends Amnesio to Hämsterviel]
Still waiting... Where is it?!
It'll be there any second, sir.
Any second is too slow! YOU'RE FIRED! F-I-R-E... [Amnesio finally arrives in his cell] Hello, what is this? [Amnesio zaps him in the eyes, erasing his memories] What? What was I saying? Who am I?
Your name is Doofus. You're a dangerous criminal wanted in twelve galaxies!
Yes. Fortunately, you were trapped and captured by me: police officer Ace Jackson!
CComputer
Warning. Experiment 383 activated.
An experiment is waiting for you and your bumbling fish mitts don't grab it for me! [notices Gantu watching TV] GANTU!
[sighs] Yes, Dr. Hämsterviel, I'll get right on it, in just a minute.
Not in just a minute! Now, you lazy squid thing! NOW!
But it's a marathon of Look at This!
6625
It's chowder chop's favorite show.
Well, my favorite show is watching your fishy butt get hit by the door on your way out to CATCH MY EXPERIMENT!!!
[sighs] Yes, sir. [to 625] Record it for me?
6625
Well, I could do that, but I'm thinking the Sandwich Channel.
[Gantu growls in frustation as he leaves]
[Pleakley is practicing a juggling routine for Look At This!]
Let's see. Maracas, bowling ball, precious family heirloom, that's good, and here we go! [begins juggling with the maracas, the bowling ball, and a priceless lamp] Yes! Yes!
[the bowling ball lands on Pleakley's foot and the maracas hit him on the head; Stitch grabs the lamp before it could break]
Why are smashing your feet?
Haven't you heard? Look At This! is coming to Kauai! I intend to demonstrate the mastery of Earth-style juggling. [moves the bowling ball off his foot]
Not you too! You sound just like Mertle. She thinks Look At This! is all that!
Well, Mertle sounds like a small Earth female with exquisite taste! [Stitch begins playing with his maraca] Unhand my maraca, you monster! Figure out your own audition!
Don't worry. I'd feed myself to the sharks before I let Stitch go on that show.
Just the same! The juggling routine is mine!
[Lilo has been hypnotized by Swirly to be like Mertle, who happens to love Look at This! while Stitch is also hypnotized by him to love the show]
Okay, first the left hip, and.... [notices Lilo, who has the same hairstyle and glasses as her] AHH! What are you doing here, Lilo?!
I'm not going to let you ruin our big TV debut with your boring old dance moves, Mer-Tle!
[dashes to the TV with a pillow and popcorn] Eeka toola!
I thought you hated Look At This!
As if! You gotta love it!
[Gantu has been hypnotized by Swirly; 625 then tells him to obey the first suggestion after hypnosis]
6625
Have a peanut butter sandwich. Wait, wait, make that a peanut butter and sardine sandwich!
[shoves the sandwich into his mouth] Delicious!
6625
[chuckles] Now, hop on one foot and say "blah-blah-blah".
Blah-blah-blah! [begins hopping around the ship] Blah-blah-blah!
What is the meaning of the silly hopping with the mouth filled with fancy-pancy nonsense?!
6625
It's cool, Doc. Check this out. Hey, twinkle-toes, dance like a ballerina and tell Dr. Hämsterviel you're a big blubberhead.
I'm a big blubberhead. [makes a goofy face and begins dancing like a ballerina]
[laughs] The large fishy one has succumbed to the powers of Experiment 383! I remember him. Big fun at parties. Gantu, stick out your tongue and make raspberry-like spitting noises!
6625
And balance yourself on a rolling pin!
While juggling your sandwich-making thing stuff!
6625
With a cake on your head!
[Gantu does exactly what he is told; 625 and Hämsterviel crack up laughing]
[Lilo looks at Jumba's computer to identify the new experiment she and Stitch just caught]
No. No. Cool, but no. I got it! It's...
Yeah. I knew which experiment it was all along.
[032 beeps loudly and his forehead lights up]
[chuckles] 032 says you are telling fib.
Is lie detector experiment. The more you lie, the more he beeps. Forces people to tell truth, resulting in complete chaos. Is genius, no? [chuckles]
How can the truth cause chaos?
[picks up a t-shirt] Ah, society is like cloth, and lies are the thread which are holding it together. [pulls a thread on the t-shirt, causing it to fall apart] Pull thread, civilization unravels. [chuckles] Humans cannot survive telling truth all the time.
I'm gonna name you Fibber. Until we find a new home for you, you can stay with me in my house.
[off-screen] Lilo! Did you clean up your room?
[Fibber beeps loudly, exposing her that she's lying]
Stitch's bed. [Stitch stops laughing] That's where you'll stay. He's the one that caught you anyway. [Stitch growls in frustration] And keep him out of the way. We don't want the t-shirt of civilization to come apart.
[Pleakley's cell phone begins ringing in the middle of the night; waking Lilo]
Pleakley, you're phone is ringing.
Eh, it's his mother. Always calling, night and day, telling him to find wife.
A wife? Like a lady to marry?
No! No! There will be no wife, no lady, and no marrying! My Earth studies are my life. I don't have time for a relationship.
[picks up Pleakley's phone] Hello?
[whispers] Lilo, no! Hang up!
[Lilo tosses the phone to Pleakley]
PSPleakley's Mom
Hello? Pleakley? Is that you?
PSPleakley's Mom
Pleakley! Aw, you know how long I've been trying to reach you?
No, I don't! You see, I... lost my phone in the ocean.
[Fibber beeps loudly]
PSPleakley's Mom
So, tell me, son, have you found a nice girl to marry yet?
[meanwhile, in Lilo's rooftop dome, Stitch is kept awake by Fibber's beeping]
PSPleakley's Mom
Well, you can stop looking, because I found one for you. [shows a picture of an ugly Plorganarian girl] Ta-da! [Pleakley gags] She is breathtaking, isn't she? Now, her parents are arranging a big, fancy wedding as we speak.
PSPleakley's Mom
I knew you would be thrilled! Pack your things. A limo craft is on its way to bring you back home to meet your new bride!
Wait! I am not thrilled! [his mom hangs up] I'm the opposite of thrilled! I'm un-thrilled! I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED!!
[Pleakley follows Lilo and Jumba's suggestions to lie to his mother saying that he's already found a woman to marry]
Yes, I'm engaged. Isn't that wonderful.
[Fibber beeps loudly]
PSPleakley's Mom
When did all this happen?
Well, just... a few hours ago. Yeah, a few hours ago. I've been... [Fibber beeps again] just so busy getting engaged that I forgot to tell you. [Fibber beeps twice; Stitch grabs Fibber and puts him in the ceiling lamp] Nice girl? Of course she's a nice girl. Cook? She's a... professional chef.
[Fibber's muffled beeping and lights emanate from the lamp]
[to Stitch] Keep him quiet!
Yes, I'm afraid you will have to call off that big, fancy wedding, 'cause I'm getting married on Sunday.
[Fibber beeps loudly]
PSPleakley's Mom
What's that crazy beeping?
Uh... it's the doorbell. [Fibber beeps again] Yes, it's the doorbell. Wedding planner's here. Gotta go. [hangs up]
She bought it. She actually bought it. This lying thing is working out really well. [there's a knock at the door] Hmm. Who could that be? Oh, it's that limo craft Mother sent to pick me up. You know, before I told her I was engaged. [chuckles] Boy, did I pull the wool over Mom's eye. She is so... [opens the door to see his mom, his sister Pixley and brother Bertley at the door] HERE!!!
PSPleakley's Mom
We hopped a wormhole as soon as we found out.
PSPleakley's Mom
What? Did you think your own family would miss your wedding? Come here. Give Mama a hug!
[Lilo asks Nani if she could pose as Pleakley's fiancé]
But otherwise, I'll lose one of my alien babysitters.
You'll still have your Uncle Jumba! I'm not gonna be Pleakley's fiancé!
Okay, I understand. Besides, Jumba is perfectly qualified to be my babysitter. Jumba! Can I play with the chainsaw?
Of course! But try not to lose finger! Is messy!
Alright! Alright, I'll do it.
Thanks, Nani. I'll never be bad again.
[Fibber beeps loudly]
[Nani is serving dinner]
[pulls out a burnt casserole out of the oven] Well... Looks like it's ready. Volcano Surprise! [places the casserole on the table and sits down; Pleakley puts his hand over her shoulder]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, it's so good to see my son finally getting married.
So, Wendy tells us you're...
[Pleakley spits out his mild in shock]
NLNani and Lilo
"Wendy?!"
My brother, your fiancé, the one-eyed wonder sitting next to you.
BBertley
You're marrying him and you don't even know his name?
Oh, well... I always just call him Honeykins. [hugs Pleakley]
[Fibber beeps loudly; Stitch grabs Fibber and tosses him into the clothes hamper and shoves laundry into it to stifle the beeping]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, he was always embarrassed by his name. I don't understand why. It means "brave warrior" in Plarganar.
BBertley
Oh, how I wanted that name.
Maybe he was embarrassed by it because he couldn't live up to it. I mean, look at his career.
Excuse me, but being an Earth expert is highly respectable.
I'm the CEO of a medium-sized galaxy. I have a bathroom in my office. You share a bunkbed with an evil scientist. Do the math, brother.
Okay, okay! Pick on Wendy time is over!
PSPleakley's Mom
Let's talk about the wedding. Now, how many guests are you having?
Guests? Oh, let's see. About..
None. They're getting married at... City Hall.
[Fibber beeps again; Stitch traps Fibber in the dryer]
PSPleakley's Mom
That's crazy talk! No son of mine is swearing his intergalactically binding vows without a decent wedding!
[glaring at Lilo] Eternal binding vows?!
[the phone rings; Pixley picks at up]
This is Pixley Pleakley, Ph.D. and CEO of the Glorknot Galaxy. Who's this?
This is David, surfer and Nani's boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Apparently, Nani didn't tell you she's engaged.
Engaged, as "engaged to be married." Are all you Earth people this dense? [hangs up]
Nani's getting... married?!
[Pleakley's mom has Nani in a rather tight wedding dress]
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, if only Grandma Pleakley could see you in her wedding dress.
Um, you know, I don't think we'll be able to this whole wedding thing. I mean, we don't even have anyone to marry us.
PSPleakley's Mom
There, there. Not to worry. I found you a minister. He was ordained at the Happy Slots Chapel in a place called "Lass Vegass". I think the veil hides a multitude of flaws, dear.
[Nani, furious, waddles outside to find Lilo making the floral arrangements]
LIIIIILLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ugh! Ow! [hops towards Lilo] Lilo, this has gone way too far! I'm not going to marry Pleakley!
But it's just pretend! Like when I married the rat that lives in the garage.
[takes off the veil] His mother ordered a real minister!
Little girl, did you want to play with this? [a chainsaw is heard]
[Gantu returns from his vacation]
I'm home. [sees the ship in a total mess] What?! My ship!
6625
The par-tay is ov-er!
[turns off the radio and finds the container computer beeping] How long has the container computer been beeping?!
6625
Ever since you left, and boy, is it irritating. I just drowned it out with Electro Dance Party 4.
CComputer
Warning: Experiment 032 activated.
Oh, Hämsterviel's going to pummel me!
6625
Oh, that reminds me. The rat-face called, but not to worry. I hung up on him before he described how he was gonna pummel you.
[grabs 625] When I get back, I'm pummeling you!
6625
Whoa. Oh, easy. Whoa. Too late there, cod-boy. Your breath beat you to it.
[Gantu drops 625 and goes out to capture Fibber]
[Stitch has Gantu tied up and is swinging him around on a palm tree]
You won't stop me, trog! I will get that lie-detect-- [Stich lets go, sending him flying] ORRRRRRRRR!!!
PSPleakley's Mom
A lie-detector? You mean this whole thing has been a great big lie? The fiancé, the wedding, everything?
Not everything exactly... [Fibber beeps loudly] Yes.
We travelled 2 million miles for nothing?! I lost 2 days of my important work for this!
[Fibber beeps loudly]
PSPleakley's Mom
You are not fit to wear the name Wendy!
[Fibber beeps again]
[Fibber beeps a third time; Pleakley sobs]
Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.
Why else would Fibber have been beeping?
So... Bertley doesn't hate me.
BBertley
[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.
[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!
And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.
But you're the CEO of a galaxy!
I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-searing loneliness!
Your shoes have their own closet?
PSPleakley's Mom
[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!
PSPleakley's Mom
Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!
I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.
BBertley
Then... can I marry Nani?
You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?
PSPleakley's Mom and Bertley
Well...
Well, you're not perfect.
Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.
Or a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.
[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.
And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.
MMinister
I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching? [holds out the bill for his services]
