Scenes with Lilo 229
[Stitch has seen the experiment pod 025 being wrapped in a present and mailed into a truck; Stitch goes from door to door taking gifts to see which one of them contains the pod]
Open up, you greedy little genetic mistake!
LiloWhat's going on?
Ah, little girl. 626 has many gifts that he is keeping to himself.
Lilo
Stitch! What are we gonna do with you? You've torn up half the town, stolen presents, made little kids cry. It's like your the spirit of Christmas ruin.
[pulls out his plasma gun] I will teach him to share brightly wrapped goodies with evil genius WHO CREATED HIM!!!
Lilo
Don't! There's something wrong with Stitch. He needs our help. I know a secret way in.
[Lilo and Jumba go through the secret entrance to the attic just as Stitch peaks through the main entrance; Jumba grabs Stitch and an unseen fight occurs]
Lilo
Jumba, look out!
[Jumba falls through the main entrance]
Lilo
Are you okay?
Ah, I'm okay! I landed on my patookie!
[gets ready to stomp on Lilo] I should have done this a long time ago!
Lilo
Go ahead! You've already ruined Christmas for everyone!
I ruined Christmas?! You're the one who took the present I was planning to give to Hämsterviel!
Lilo
You were going to give Hämsterviel a gift?
Well, yes. Isn't that what your Christmas holiday is all about? Giving presents.
Lilo
Actually, you're right.
Lilo
It's not about getting presents. It's about giving.
LGLittle Girl
Santa? Do I get a present?
You?! A proto Earth form? Don't be ridiculous! Why would I-- [the girl gives him a sad look] No! That's not fair! Stop looking at me like that! Seize using your ocular orbs against sympathy! [sighs] This is an infectious holiday you have on this planet. Perhaps this is a present we could all enjoy. I can always find something else to send to Hämsterviel. [gives the present to the little girl]
[Lilo runs into the house; Stitch is exhausted]
Lilo
AAAAAH!!!! HE'S COMING! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE! HE'S ON HIS WAY RIGHT NOW!!
Hold it! HOLD EVERYTHING!! Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.
Lilo
Okay. Keoni Jameson was holding a bouquet of flowers, when he asked Tino directions to our house. When Tino asked why he wanted directions, he said he had to ask a real cutie something. It's so obvious what he has in mind.
Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.
Lilo
Keoni is going to ask me to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe festival! [pause] The annual Valentine's Day festival!
And this is a catastrophe how?
Lilo
Only because I'm so not ready! Stitch, you stall him. Act like I'm too pretty to come to the door. And Pleakley, stay out of the way.
Oh, you won't even know I'm here! All of Galactic Federation observers, such as myself, are masters of the art of seamlessly blending in.
[the doorbell rings]
Lilo
That's him!
WAIT!! I'm not seamlessly blended in yet! I'm un-seamlessly un-blended!
[Lilo kicks Keoni out of the house after she finds out he really has a crush on Pleakley in his female disguise]
Lilo
It's a world gone mad!
Lilo, it's called camouflage. He's supposed to think I'm an attractive Earth woman.
[chuckles] Someone found Pleakley attractive?
Lilo
Not someone! KEONI!!! Poor guy must have ear bugs eating his brain.
Hmm, I fear it could be possibly something far in the way worse. Here, look your eyeballs on this. Is Experiment 323. It must have been activated, and is loose on island. One peck from its beak causes victim to fall head over feet in love with the very next person they see! [laughs maniacally but then falls off his chair] Lovesickness is very destructive. Can bring entire societies crashing to standstill.
Lilo
Oh! So, Keoni just got pecked by your Hunkahunka Bird of Love experiment.
He is only thing could explain sensible tweenage boy having crush on one-eyed noodle like Pleakley.
Oh, and I suppose he couldn't have just fallen for my brilliant Earth female disguise.
Lilo
I don't think so.
[Lilo is trying to ask Keoni to the dance]
Lilo
So, Keoni, if you're going to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe, it's accustomed to bring a date.
Yeah, I know. That's why I asked your Aunt Pleakley. She is such a hottie.
[drags the cooler containing Hunkahunka toward Lilo] Maka maka, sassa!
Lilo
Not now, Stitch. I'm trying to get Keoni to ask me to the dance. [a rattle is heard from the cooler] Oh, you caught Hunkahunka! [picks up Hunkahunka] Perfect!
Lilo
Keoni, do I have something in my teeth?
Not that I can see. [Lilo puts Hunkahunka behind his neck, causing him to peck him and look straight at Lilo] I think I love you!
Lilo
Attaboy, Stitch! Good thinking.
Aba tooka! [puts Hunkahunka back in the cooler] Cousin, home.
Lilo
Oh, we can find the one true place he truly belongs later. Right now, Keoni and I are gonna spend some quality time together. Right, Keoni?
[Stitch groans in frustation]
Lilo
Hey, wanna play Skip Rocks? I'll go first, because I'm the lady.
Lilo
Um, you have to skip a stone and see if you can win. [throws a flat stone that skips across the water]
Lilo
Well, no.... I wanna win, that's the game.
[simply picks up a large stone and drops into the water] You won!
Lilo
Yeah....
[Stitch zaps Hunkahunka and puts him in the doorprize drawing box outside the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe dance]
Lilo
Stitch! Good thing you're here! Man, I never should have used Hunkahunka to peck Keoni. This fakey love is the worst! Did Jumba give you the antidote?
Lilo
Good. I need to get some to Keoni fast. Is it in here? [takes the box]
Naga! Naga! [as soon as the box opens, Hunkahunka flees into the dance room] Doonga!
Lilo
Oops. Well, how was I supposed to know? Why was it in a box?
[Gantu captures Hunkahunka and Stitch uses the fire alarm to break everybody out of their lovesickness]
So it was all an experiment's fault. I guess my attractive Earth woman's camouflage was a miserable failure after all.
Miss Pleakley? You look really nice tonight.
Lilo
Uh-oh. Keoni must not have gotten wet.
Time to get over it, kiddo. [sprays water into Keoni's face]
Wow. You're beautiful and quirky.
I am? I am, aren't I?! Woo-hoo! My camouflage is beautiful after all!
Lilo
Wow, Keoni had a real crush on Pleakley all along.
Hey, Lilo, is your sister home?
Lilo
Yeah, but I don't think she's feeling well. She said something about having a big zit.
LILO!! [dashes to the front door] No! I'm fine.
Lilo
Well, what were you popping when... [Nani covers her mouth until she licks her]
Ugh! [chuckles nervously] What a darling.
[Jumba has converted the family buggy into a giant drilling machine so Lilo and Stitch can hunt down Richter underground]
Lilo
Let's go, Stitch. Stitch!
[Stitch is playing around with his new orange ball]
[takes ball] 626, what are you playing with? Looks like citrus orb.
Okata! [swipes the ball back]
Lilo
He doesn't like people touching his orange ball. He's learning how to take care of things.
[Lilo, Stitch and the family are enjoying dinner at Macki Macaw's; the animatronic Macki, however, flames up and falls off the perch]
Primitive Earth entertainment technology. Very entertaining.
Especially when he entertains by catching on fire. Fascinating.
[Stitch gets his glass ready as Pleakley pours soda to the group]
Lilo
Wait your turn, Stitch. Macki may be combustibally challenged, but I love this place. It's homey. Why don't we come here more often?
[Stitch, patience run out after Pleakley does not pour him any soda, leaps onto the table, chugs the whole pitcher of soda down, and belches loudly]
Lilo, have you finished giving him a bath?
[Stitch dashes out of the bathroom wearing an inner tube; Lilo begins chasing Stitch around the house; Stitch tries to squeeze through the doggy door, but can't due to his inner tube]
Lilo
You know how he is about water. I almost had him lulled into a false sense of security, but then you said the b-word. Never say the b-word!
[Stitch finally escapes leaving Lilo stuck in the inner tube]
Lilo
Why do you torment me?
[Stitch sees Phantasmo (possessing Scrump) messing with Lilo's movies; he breaks free from the chains and begins attacking Scrump]
Lilo
What's all the racket in there? That sounded like... Stitch?!
[as Lilo enters the room, Scrump goes into doll mode and Stitch spits it out]
Stitch not bad! Was scary dolly!
Lilo
Scrump is very smart, Stitch. But she doesn't go around breaking plates and unscrewing videotapes.
[during Stitch's "trial"]
Wasn't it Defendant 626 who chewed off the arm of Mr. Fluffybear here?
Lilo
Objection! I sewed it back on.
And how about little Suzy Teaparty? Anybody seen yer head? I haven't, because it's gone!
Lilo
Objection! Stitch didn't mean to eat. It was a freak accident! He was accidentally hungry.
[Lilo, Jumba, and Pleakley are tied by Phantasmo after learning his secret]
375 has advanced programming. Now that we have learned his secret, he will probably get rid of us.
[Phantasmo possesses Scrump and picks up Jumba's gun]
Don't worry. The weapon is only loaded with net.
[Phantasmo replaces the net cartridge with another]
Ah! He has replaced net with my new laser cartridge! I am so proud of his smartness!
Lilo
I'm not.
And I'm just gonna faint. I'm too terrified to faint. How about if I just scream? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
