King of the Hill · Season 7
I see the Buffalo, I see the Indian! (slows down) I am the Indian. (snoring)
(groans) Dang it.
Dad, where the Hell are you? DAD!
Your dad's not coming. He's rolling around on the ground and eating bark and my dad is screaming, "Dang it!" a lot.
This trip is so... SUCKS! You know what the land is tell me? WRECK STUFF!
What are YOU DOING?!? THAT'S YOUR DAD'S SLEEPING BAG!
HA! HA! LOOK AT IT BURN!
Dang it, Boomhauer. Just because the Cowboys have a bad season or two or five doesn't give you the right to abandon them. Right, guys?
Barstool coming through! (bumps into the back of Hank, making his glasses come loose)
It's for the freakin' children!
In my day, the principal was the meanest sum-bitch God ever put on one leg. He'd lean on a desk with both hands, and swing his leg at ya! Then, when you were standing there shocked that a one-legged man had kicked ya...he'd bite ya!
The clock radio smells like my Game Boy, but it tastes like my library card. I wonder if it smells different when it's on...
You're not doing it right!
He got my bible wet!
Is there anything beer can't do?
[to mailbox] Just me and you, mailbox. [pours beer into the mailbox]
Hank! Boomhauer and me are shaved! Are you shaved yet, Hank?
[attempting to remove his tattoo] Dang it! How could this be here? Get off me!
Reverend Karen Stroup is giving a sermon to the congregation's children (and their parents) on racial inclusion, using crayons in a box as a metaphor
Can anyone tell me what color this is?
(together) White.
How 'bout this one?
(together) Black.
(cheerfully) Very good. Did you know that God created all the colors and loves them all equally? That's why he puts them in the same box.
Yeah/Mm-hmm.
(sternly) Unfortunately, there are some people in this world who would prefer to keep white crayons in their own box, separate from the other crayons.
Look at all those pests out there. I wonder if we'll ever win this war.
Don't you just find the mating habits of animals fascinating? When a pigeon wants to mate, it makes this noise. Coo. Coo.
Interesting. When cockroaches want to mate, they flush all the air out their book gloves. It sounds kinda like (wheeze).
Coo. Coo.
(wheeze)
Well, it's getting late. You want to go downstairs. I got us a room, I'm warming up some brandy in the coffeemaker.
Wait a second. Are you attempting to... know me?
Dale, you're one of the sweetest, gentlest, funniest men I've ever met.
True, but Sheila, I'm married.
It's just us tonight. (She tries to kiss Dale)
Oh no, Missy. There are 3 people here tonight. You, me, and my wife. I've taken two oaths in my life: One to the NRA, and the other to Nancy Hicks-Gribble. Nay, Nancy Hicks. I stood in front of God and all my friends, swearing to be an honorable and truthful man. So I'm not going to lie, I, I have felt a very small, insect-like attraction for you. But my wife is the greatest woman there ever was! I think you should go. (Sheila leaves) (pigeons cooing) Jeez, woman, take a hint. (turns to see the pigeon cooing. believing the pigeon is propositioning him) You heard me. I love my wife.
Damn it, Dale. You got to stop painting your house number on my curb!
[trying to divert Bobby's interest away from witchcraft] This is a carburetor. Take it apart, put it back together, repeat until you're normal.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
