King of the Hill Season 5 quotes

Hank Hill

Son of a... BWAAH!!

Dale

Up yours, Joseph!

Nancy

Dale!

Dale

I'm sorry son, that's the coffee talking. And the florescent lighting. And the excruciating headache.

Nancy

Make some time for the roaches, shug.

Dale

We'd all love to make time for roaches, but in the real world, people have to spend all night reconciling invoices or [raising his voice] Ms. Pippman WON'T LET THEM WEAR CHINOS OR A KNIT SHIRT NEXT FRIDAY!

Dale

"Turbines!" (NOTE: He is in a air vent filled with roaches, he promptly rotates and kills several)

Hank Hill

Uhh...Strickland Propane, taste the...I mean, hello?

Luanne Platter

Uncle Hank, I quit being a virgin the first time I had sex.

Hank Hill

Peggy...I can see your whatnots.

Hank

Bwaaah!!!

Peggy

He's gay now, if that makes you feel better.

Hank

BWAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Peggy

Of course it doesn't.

Dale

We all came to see the opening of another doghouse.

Hank

So help me God. Hey, this isn't the Bible, it's a Harry Potter book.

We're not allowed to bring the Bible to school.

Bobby

How long should we stay angry at my dad?

Boomhauer

Well... you know Bobby, I talk, tell you now, take it from me, man, that ol' life too short, man, you don't wanna hold no grudge, man. Talkin' bout, you let ol' bygones be bygones, man. Maybe two weeks, I don't know, probably three.

Bobby

You know Mr. Boomhauer, I can see why my dad is always quoting you.

Boomhauer

Man, that, your daddy quote me? Got dang, ol' man. Maybe just, don't, make, make it a one week.

Hank

Why couldn't it have been me and Boomhauer that did something horrible to you guys?

Bill

'Cause Boomhauer's a saint.

Dale Gribble

[after Nancy rejects him that Bill poured the lemon in her makeup] My horrifying grotesque wife is leaving me all because of my smoking!

Dale Gribble

[very sad] She won't talk to me. What am I gonna do? [cries]

Hank

You want me to wear a fake hiney?

Mr. Hill, are your shoes fake feet?