King of the Hill quotes

They got the water what don't give you the hot poops!

Bill Dauterive

(Bill's card has been denied) I've got other cards, do you take Blockbuster?

Hank Hill

Why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?

Bobby Hill

Now where did I put my pantyhose?

Dale Gribble

I'm all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the constitution?

Hank

I'm not messing around! I have proven I can kick your ass while standing on a ladder!

Hank

[catching Dale trying to run from him after sending out the FBI] No more, Dale! I've put up with some giblet-headed things out of you in the past, but calling the FBI on me--that's final!

Dale

Oh, this has been a cat-astrophe!

Hank

This is the critical juncture. We can't give in. No matter how bad it gets, and it will get bad, we must stand firm. Then everything can go back to normal.

Bill

If everybody fried their food, there would be no war.

Dale

Okay, Joseph, take that stick and poke me in my once-again robust arm. [Joseph begins poking him in his bee stings] See? I don't feel a thing. [beat] Wait a minute. I DON'T FEEL A THING!

Lucky

Sometimes, the world is cruel to shiny things.

Hank

Score? Someone scored?

Lucky

Heck yeah. Aunt Peggy did.

Hank

Aunt Peggy?

Lucky

Yeah, she knocked out their blocker so Luanne could scoot past their jammer.

Bill

I'm so confused...

Lucky

See, your blockers stop the other teams' jammers. The pivot can block, jam, or counter-jam. Only the pivot or jammer can score.

Hank

But how do they score?

Lucky

No one really knows.

Hank

What the hell is pony season?

Dale

See you in the history books, people!