That's all our money!
No, it's all my money. You lost your money when you said no to the trucker.
S6 E11The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods
If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.
This is for the rats!
S6 E12Dee Gives Birth
This sucks. This sucks a bag of dicks.
Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.
Parenting is pretending you know what you're talking about, then jamming it down their throat!
If you do not get my sister her stories and a new room as soon as possible, then I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor! THE THUNDER OF MY VENGEANCE WILL ECHO THROUGH THESE CORRIDORS LIKE THE GUST OF A THOUSAND WINDS!
S7 E1Frank's Pretty Woman
Roxy, you are good shit and I want to make this legit. I'm still gonna pay you - but I want you to stop banging other guys. What do you say? You wanna be my wife or what?
[To Roxy's Corpse]
Roxy, God Bless you. You were a good whore, you serviced me like no other whore ever did; not only my crank, but my heart - and I'm gonna miss you. AMEN.
I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don't care if anyone doesn't like that about me, they don't have to stick around.
You look fat as shit! I'm getting very concerned with the integrity of our organization here. Mac, you have gained 50 pounds of fat.”
“Mass.”
“Fat.”
“Muscle.”
Let's be clear. Fat.”
“People change, Frank. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.”
“But I'm healthy besides the diabitis.
DDoctor
“Um, no.
“But I'm more healthier than he is, is the point I think you're trying to make, even with the diabitis.
Dude, stop saying "diabitis"! You sound like an ass...
“The other day we were hanging out under the bridge, we found a box of denim, and I'm like "these look like good jeans in here," and (Frank)'s like "Wanna split them with me 50/50?" That's a nice thing to do.”
[to Roxy] Your life is way more glamorous than I was picturing.
RRoxy
Yeah, yeah. Now help me dig these crack rocks out of my ass.
That's what I was picturing.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.