That’s weird, because the situation really isn’t funny.
I know, but the laughing tells me when it’s funny.
S12 E3Old Lady House: A Situation Comedy
Having those other people laugh tells me when I should laugh.
And the music I added makes you know that it’s light!
S12 E4Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare
You know what, Chet. Can I say something?
I think you've said enough
You have to understand that Boko Haram did not do 9/11. That was Al Queda. Paris, that was ISIS. Boko Haram is focusing... they're doing Africa. There are mosquitoes down there that are bigger terrorist than Boko Haram.
S12 E5Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer
Whoo, look at the dumper on you.
WOWoman on street
Fuck off, creep.
S12 E6Hero or Hate Crime?
Oh, man, look at this. Dog shit.
Did you just step in that on purpose?
Oh, no, I just... you know, I didn't really see it.
You pointed it out to me!
All right, fine. I voluntarily stepped in the dog shit so that I would smell of dog shit. Happy?
Less happy. Why would it make me happy?
I was trying to cover up the smell of the skunk that I let spray me so that there would be no questions.
Well, now I have more questions.
Of course you do.
Like, why did you let a skunk spray you?
To cover the smell of cologne, man.
Oh, man. You know what? Go to the beginning. Go to the first smell! The first smell that begat all the other smells!
The first smell was cigarettes! I 've been smoking with Dee! All right?
LOOK OUT, FAGGOT!
How would you describe the [black] arbiter?
Yeah, you know what? We're, uh, we're treading on some very dangerous territory here, buddy.
Nigger?
Did you know that a faggot is a burning bundle of sticks on top of which they used to burn homos? So, basically, when you call someone a faggot, you are saying that they should be burned at the stake.
(after showing off his exercise bike with a dildo attached to it) I know, but it's not what it looks like.
Yeah, what it looks like is that you are fucking yourself with a dildo bike.
S12 E7PTSDee
[Laughing] I got you! I got you! I'm your rock bottom? I'm your rock. That's your rock bottom, sticking your dick in your daughter's face, you son of a bitch.
S12 E8The Gang Tends Bar
You guys mind if I go in the bathroom and smoke some PCP?
S12 E10Dennis' Double Life
I-I've tried everything for years with you. And I just-- At this point, I just don't know what else to say.
WWaitress
Oh, my God! Stop saying things to me. Don't you understand that this is never gonna happen, so let it go!
But look, wha-- Why? You won't ever tell me why. You just say no, and you won't give me a shot. I don't understand what's so terrible about me.
WWaitress
What's so great about me, Charlie? What's wrong with you? Why are you so obsessed with me? I mean, you said it yourself, I'm a mess! So, why don't you just go find somebody better?!
Well... 'cause there is no one better. And I love you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.