Dee, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing?
Same thing you're doing. I'm not letting dad give all this shit to poor people.
Alright, hey I got here first though. I'm taking the plasma TV and I'm taking the fish tank.
How come you get to pick and choose?
It's not that I get to pick and choose, it's that I'm a man and I'm strong. I can carry heavy things. You're a woman, you're weak and... you can't.
You're a woman and you're weak.
That doesn't make any sense.
You don't make any sense.
[in a wheelchair and army vet attire] This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it.
Maybe you should let me do all the talking.
No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn.
SStripper
Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened?
[shouting] Viet-goddamn-nam's what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch!
FFrenkel
Israel. It just got to be too dangerous. I mean, you know with everything that's happening.
Well, that's a tough situation you got over there.
Oh yeah, you got that whole tsunami and the...
Well, the superdome thing.
No, there's no superdome...
Well it's one of those places over there.
It's a different country, Charlie so why don't...
Well I'm just trying to help the guy out.
Why don't you just shut up!
[Dennis has TP'd Frenkel's house]
This isn't gonna do shit!
What do you mean this isn't gonna do shit?
There needs to be a next step, or something-
Hey! Do you know how hard it is to get toilet paper off of a building, especially when it rains? This Jew's in for a ton of work—
Come on, man! You can't say things like that!
I don't know what I said. What'd I say?
You dropped a hard "J" on us.
Shhh! You can say it, but it has to be like, in context-
You guys—you guys said I could say Jew.
You can, but in the right context, man.
It's gotta be in the right context.
Well, what's the right context?
Person of the Jewish faith in a group of other people from the Jewish faith.
"This guy's got a ton of work to do! I think it's okay that he's Jewish."
But that's not what I'm saying—
That's not what he's saying. Now, hold on a second, this is...if—
You guys don't know what the hell you're talking about.
"This man is in for a ton of work! He's Jewish."
We know—we know what we're talking about.
Yeah, we know what we're talking about.
All right, kids, how you feeling?
Good? Doesn't sound good. Are you drinking the Red Bull? Come on, chug 'em down!
DPDucks' Player
I feel sick.
That's the vitamins ripping out the inside of your stomach. That's a good thing, trust me.
WWaitress
I wrote down my phone number.
WWaitress
Please... please, Charlie, please don't make me regret giving this to you. (The waitress hands a folded piece of paper to Charlie)
No absolu... absolutely not. No, this will be a platonic sponsor, sponsoree kind of a thing. (He unfolds the piece of paper) Oh... no shi... I was so close.
