[after catching the students; angrily and confused] A video camera?! Turtles?! Burritos?! What is going on here?!
[hesitantly] The iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular? [Sam hesitantly presses 5th button which plays a recording of a cheering crowd; Carly angrily snatches the remote from Sam]
[angrily; stupidly thinking he had won] You're all really in trouble now. I am talking suspension! I am talking expulsion! Deportation! [Principal Franklin appears, but Mr. Howard doesn't notice] And you can all start with 500 push-ups! I don't care what Principal Franklin has to say about it.
[sternly] (Oh, really?) You don't?
[angrily] No! I-- [sees Principal Franklin; alarmed] Oh! [embarrassed] Oh, dear. Pr-- Principal Franklin.
Well, I was at home, watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular. [to Carly and Sam; pleased] Congratulations, by the way. My kids and I love your show.
SamAwesome.
[becomes serious again] While I was watching, I heard Mr. Howard...call me a weak, spineless fool.
(Note: While he did say the first two, he didn’t actually say “fool”; but that could’ve been a bluff)
[horrified] No, no, no! I Said...uh, sweet. Stylish. Cool.
[not believing Mr. Howard] (No, you didn't.) In my office.
[walks out of detention room; defeated] Why does everything always happen to me?
Well, I suppose Mr. Howard has tortured you all enough. Go home.
Okay, we're just about done.
Sam
I'm Sam...
Carly And thanks for watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular.
[Sam almost pushes 5th button; politely] May I?
Sam
[politely] Second button from the bottom. [Principal Frank pushes said button]
SSingers
♪ It's iCarly's 50th Web-Show Spectacular. ♪
CSCarly and Sam
Bye! Keep visiting iCarly.com. Don't forget it.
Sam
David, I hired him to read the book to me.
Then why is he rubbing your feet?
Sam
Because he was late. So, I started reading it myself and it is fantastic! These things are great! It's like TV in your head!
Well, I'm glad you like reading. But I still don't see why David's rubbing your feet.
Sam
I already paid the kid; I had to make him do something.
[pleading] Please call my mother.
Now, I want you all to write a 10-page essay on the Louisiana purchase.
Um, we haven't even gotten to that chapter yet.
Too bad! Sometimes, things happen you're not prepared for!
But how are we suppose to write an essay on something you haven't taught us about yet?
I don't need your sass, Carly Shay.
Sass? Look, it's not fair to make us write 10 pages --
Let's make it 15 pages, yeah, that's right! Ow... I'm gonna go get some aspirin. Start reading chapter whatever. [leaves]
Her boyfriend must have dumped her hard.
Sam
No kidding. The lady is losing it.
Sometimes I'm bold, but I'm never sassy!
Freddie, why aren't you reading chapter whatever?
Oh, um, 'cause I dropped my textbook in the bathtub last night.
Of course. You men are all the same. You lose interest in your textbook and then you just dump it in your filthy bath water!
Ms. Ackerman, you don't need to yell at Freddie in front of the whole class.
Oh, look! More back talk from the sass master!
I am NOT the sass master! And it's wrong for you to be mean to Freddie just 'cause your boyfriend broke up with you!
Sam
Wow, Carls. Maybe you are the sass master.
Now you go straight to the principal's office!
And if the vote says that we shouldn't be together... [to Spencer] THEN I HATE YOU! AND THE INTERNET! [she angrily takes her purse, opens the door, pushes a small vase on the floor and leaves]
Okay. What was the point of all this? Now she's just gonna be mean and vicious to you guys at school.
Sam
I don't know.
Lot of people watch iCarly.
Sam
And sometimes...
We make sure certain specific people watch.
[suspiciously] You guys are up to something, and [alarmed] I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT IT IS! [runs off]
[camera swaps to Lauren's classroom]
I hope you haven't made any plans for this weekend, 'cause you're all gonna be up to your eyeballs in homework.
Sam
[whispering] When?
And today you will write 1,000 words on why men are dirty, rotten, stinktaitious, ungrateful, aw-- [she gets interrupted by FBI Agents]
F1FBI Agent 1
Lauren Ackerman?
Yes? Who are you, people?
F2FBI Agent 2
You're under arrest. [he grabs her hands to handcuff her]
F1FBI Agent 1
For 500 counts of illegally downloading music on the internet.
[the iCarly gang smiles]
F1FBI Agent 1
Yes, we do. Ma'am? [Carly throws the pear pod to him, and he shows it to her teacher] I believe all the proof we need is on this pear pod.
F2FBI Agent 2
And you admitted it last night on those kids' web show.
F1FBI Agent 1
Which we recorded.
[the FBI agents take her away and the class cheers while the iCarly gang high fives each other]
Sam
So, now what do we do?
Yeah, we should probably tell principal Franklin that our teacher's been arrested.
Or we could go ice skating! [the class cheers and pack up as they go outside their classroom]
Did you feel his arm muscles?
Sam
No.
Sam
You didn't feel his arm muscles!
[speaking very fast] Yes, I did, too! He told me that he can beat his dad in arm wrestling, and I said, "No way," and he said, "Oh, no, it's true," and I said, "Wow, you must be really strong," and he said, "Well, I work out a little bit," and I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yeah, you wanna feel my biceps?" And I said, "Sure, I do," and so I felt them, and they felt awesome.
I have a date with Shane tonight!
Sam
Obviously!
What's that supposed to mean?
Sam
Why don't you ask your new helping bra?!
(gasps) That's it! I'm out of here! (Carly walks out, walks back in) This is my house!
(Sam walks out)
(defensively) There's nothing wrong with a little help.
SSasha
I hear you're really good. So why don't you beat me?
Oh, you don't think I can, do you?
SSasha
I know you can't. But I like a challenge.
You know, I feel scared and attracted to you at the same time.
Sam
Are you guys gonna make out, or play some Pak-Rat?
iCarly · 611 quotes
