CBCereal box Toucan
I'm bonkers for eating you alive.
LLee
No! [Screams as a stabbing sound is heard]
NNate
Lee! Okay, okay... I'm with you kid! 100%, man!
PPa
[possessing Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice] Welcome.
DNDipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy
[Scream]
PPa
Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. [Kicks legs and laughs]
We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!
Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?
PPa
Well... okay. You're free to go. [Opens doors] But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs.
NRNate and Robbie
[Scream and run for the door]
PPa
[Closes doors] Just kidding about the hot dog sale.
NNate
Just let us out of here already!
PPa
I don't like your tone. [Dissolves Nate]
NNate
[Reappears as a hot dog on the stove] No! I'M A HOT DOG!
PPa
It begins. [Makes everything float to the ceiling] Welcome to your home for all eternity!
DUCK! [Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf]
[Points] Quick! In there! [Dipper and Wendy Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant]
What do they want from us?!
Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!
Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things.
Wendy, say that last part again.
Of course! Stay here until I get back! [crawls out of the freezer]
Dude, what are you doing?!
PPa
[twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards him]
I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!
PPa
[drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma] Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so? [drops Mabel into a pile of candy]
MabelWAAH! [Lands in the candy and rubs her head] Ohhh...
MMa
Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store.
PPa
Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants. So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.
MMa
The lyrics were so hateful.
RRapper
Homework's whack, and so are rules. Tucking in your shirt's for fools.
Well, I'm probably scarred for life.
Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?
Next time? Yah! Let's, let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah... [gets in the car, to himself] Next time... [gets in the car and sits next to Mabel]
Mabel
OHHHHH... [sees the thing she wrote earlier] What kind of sick joke is this?
Mabel
No offense, Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington.
I am too Manly...Manny, or whatever it is you said.
Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's incident.
[Flashback: Dipper is in the bathroom, in a towel, looking into the mirror and singing into his comb like a microphone]
Disco girl...comin' through...that girl is you! [Stan opens the bathroom door] DON'T COME IN, DON'T COME IN!
[End flashback]
Mabel
[grinning] You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation BABBA?
No, I wasn't- It's not important.
[Dipper and Mabel go off to enjoy Pioneer Day]
Mabel
Grunkle Stan, you coming?
No thank you. Just remember: if you two come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me.
[In an old-timey accent] There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar.
Mabel
[Likewise] Well, hornswaggle my haversack.
[They spit on the ground and runoff, laughing]
QTQeuntin Trembley
Children I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I will always be right here...[Shows Dipper some paper money] On the negative twelve dollar bill.
It's LESS than worthless my boy! TREMBLEY AWAY!
[Trembley gets on a horse backwards and rides off]
Mabel
Where do you think he's going?
I'm gonna say.... Off a cliff.
[Blendin Blandin is blamed for Dipper and Mabel's interference with time]
DDundgren
You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct.
It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!
LLolph
That's a pig, Blendin.
[to Dipper and Mabel, as he is dragged away] I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never meet!
[After a moment's pause]
Mabel
Guess he forgot to go back.
Mabel
Ugh, poor Dipper. Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears.
Fears are for chumps. That's why I don't have any. [tries to reach an item on a shelf]
Mabel
You want me to go get a ladder?
Mabel
What?
Stan You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.
Mabel
Grunkle Stan, why you actin' so cray-cray?
YOU'RE the one who's "actin' cray-cray".
Gravity Falls · 241 quotes
