Mabel Pines quotes from Gravity Falls

Ladies and gentlemen we now return to CASH WHEEL. Sponsored by CHIPACKERZ: The chip flavored crackers.

Mabel

They taste just like chips.

Stan

No buts except yours out the door. now shut your yap and get to work.

Mabel

Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to please and thank you? Hmmm. Oh wait here they are.

Mabel

Oh! Who's that? Is it Questiony The Question Mark?

Soos

Uhhh...I'm starting to have second thoughts about this Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines...And this costume is more uhhh...revealing than I expected.

Mabel

Soos, don't give up. [ Mabel flips through an 80's book called "Succeeding In Management"] Anything is possible when you...imaginize it.

Excuse me, do you think this T-shirt is my size?

Stan

Never mind the T-shirt! Hey everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!

Mabel

[leading the customer away] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Stan

D-doing my taxes!

Dipper

[reads a tax form with "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" written across in bold red ink] Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?

Stan

Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.

Dipper

Might wanna tuck that one away, there. [drops the form into a shredder]

[juggling while riding a unicycle surrounded by three crocodiles] Do-do-do. Oh no! [Dipper and Mabel laugh]

Stan

Sometimes I think: is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?

Stan

Where... where are we?

Mabel

[gasps] Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top!

Dipper

[checks his watch] And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole.

Soos

Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true.

Stan

But that's impossible! No one will believe us. [leans on the pit's sign]

Mabel

Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves.

Agreed.

Mabel

[smiling] He'll be fine.

Stan

[sighs, long pause] This is stupid.

On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening day at the Gravity Falls pool!

Mabel

Gravity Falls pool?

Dipper

Today?

Soos

Pun intended?

Mabel

Ah, the pool. Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment.

Stan

Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus but wet.

Dipper

[looking at a towel] Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?

Soos

It's best not to think about it.

Hola.

Mabel

Whoa, are you from Australia?

Mabel

I should've known from your strange foreign fish language.

It is Spanish.

What are you doing with your mouth.

Mabel

Me? Nothing. This? I was just eating some sour candy...so my lips did that...because the candy was so sour.

Can I have some candy?

Mabel

No.

I have never met anyone like you.

Mabel

Me too. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires.

Dipper

I don't remember the vampires.

Mabel

I don't tell you everything.

Mabel

Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make prosthetic pair of people legs.

Intriguing.

Dipper

Mabel, if you don't hand over those pool supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever.

Mabel

Okay, I understand. Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!

Dipper

Really? At night?

Mabel

Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!

Dipper

Mermen don't breathe air!

Mabel

Then give him reverse CPR, doi!

Dipper

[Repeatedly fills his mouth with water and spits it into Mermando's] I hate this, I hate this.

Mabel

[Takes a picture of Dipper and Mermando with their lips together] Haha, blackmail.

Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake?

Dipper

Agh!

Mabel

Get ready to be poked by the fun stick. Boop.

Dipper

Ow.