[During the ending credits]
[Mabel has her hand on the lower bill of a pelican using it like a puppet to tell a joke]
PMPelican Mabel
[Deep raspy voice] Who wants to hear a joke?
DipperNot me
PMPelican Mabel
Heh-Ha! Yeah ya do. Here it goes. Why did the Pel-ican get kicked out of the res-taurant?
Dipper
I DON'T CARE!
PMPelican Mabel
Cuz he had a very BIG BILL. La-la-la-la Yuk-yuk-yuk!
Dipper
Oh boo. Bad Joke. Bad Pelican Joke.
PMPelican Mabel
Blah-Blah-Blah!
[Mabel surprises Dipper with her new makeover and manicured fingernails]
Hey, Dipper. What's going on? [Dipper swats her hands away and gets up]
Dipper
Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails? You look like a... wolverine.
I know, right? Rawr. I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man.
Dipper
Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.
Oh, leave him alone. You never wanna do girly stuff with me. You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time.
Dipper
What do you mean?
Hey, dude. You ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave, one by one?
Dipper
Am I?
[They both run off and turn on the microwave offscreen, laughing at the popping sounds]
Dipper
One at a time! One at a time!
[At the gift shop, Stan shows Soos, Wendy and Dipper a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together]
Hey, hey! What the Jekyll is Mabel doing in the paper next to that greasy pickpocket Gideon?
[browses her cellphone] Oh yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight.
WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great-niece?!
I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mab-ideon? Gide-Abel? [Gasps] Ma-gid-bel-eon!
Dipper
I didn't know! I didn't hear about it! And plus, I told her not to!
[walking out the door] Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop right now! [Slams the door]
[Dipper sees a nervous Mabel pacing around the living room]
Dipper
What in the heck happened on that date?
I don't know! I was in the friend zone—and then, before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!
Dipper
Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon.
Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon.
It's all part of my long-term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt. [Looks down] Ugh, I am fat.
[Mabel runs out screaming]
Bodies change, honey! Bodies change.
And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.
Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.
Dipper
Oh, you mean The Big Muffin.
Uh, it's a giant explosion.
LLee
It kinda does look like a muffin.
Dipper
Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I try to say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something.
Dipper
Mabel?
[zoom in on Mabel's face, fade to her hallucination: she's flying with crazy pop music from before playing]
The future is in the past. Onwards Aoshima!
AAoshima
[moves its fists in a circular motion, its mouth opens to reveal a fist coming out of them, and the fists open and spit out rainbows]
Dipper
Mabel, How many of these did you eat?!
Dipper
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man.
CBCereal box Toucan
I'm bonkers for eating you alive.
LLee
No! [Screams as a stabbing sound is heard]
NNate
Lee! Okay, okay... I'm with you kid! 100%, man!
PPa
[possessing Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice] Welcome.
DNDipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy
[Scream]
Dipper
They got Mabel!
PPa
Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. [Kicks legs and laughs]
We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!
Dipper
Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?
PPa
Well... okay. You're free to go. [Opens doors] But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs.
NRNate and Robbie
[Scream and run for the door]
PPa
[Closes doors] Just kidding about the hot dog sale.
NNate
Just let us out of here already!
PPa
I don't like your tone. [Dissolves Nate]
NNate
[Reappears as a hot dog on the stove] No! I'M A HOT DOG!
PPa
It begins. [Makes everything float to the ceiling] Welcome to your home for all eternity!
Dipper
DUCK! [Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf]
[Points] Quick! In there! [Dipper and Wendy Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant]
What do they want from us?!
Dipper
Revenge, I guess?
Dipper
Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!
Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things.
Dipper
Wendy, say that last part again.
Dipper
Of course! Stay here until I get back! [crawls out of the freezer]
Dude, what are you doing?!
Dipper
Hey ghost!
PPa
[twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards him]
Dipper
I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!
PPa
[drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma] Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so? [drops Mabel into a pile of candy]
WAAH! [Lands in the candy and rubs her head] Ohhh...
MMa
Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store.
PPa
Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants. So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.
MMa
The lyrics were so hateful.
RRapper
Homework's whack, and so are rules. Tucking in your shirt's for fools.
Well, I'm probably scarred for life.
Dipper
Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?
Dipper
Next time? Yah! Let's, let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah... [gets in the car, to himself] Next time... [gets in the car and sits next to Mabel]
OHHHHH... [sees the thing she wrote earlier] What kind of sick joke is this?
No offense, Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington.
Dipper
I am too Manly...Manny, or whatever it is you said.
Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's incident.
[Flashback: Dipper is in the bathroom, in a towel, looking into the mirror and singing into his comb like a microphone]
Dipper
Disco girl...comin' through...that girl is you! [Stan opens the bathroom door] DON'T COME IN, DON'T COME IN!
[End flashback]
[grinning] You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation BABBA?
Dipper
No, I wasn't- It's not important.
[Dipper confronts the Multibear.]
MMultibear
Child, why have you come here?
Dipper
Multibear, I seek your head. Or, one of them, anyway. There's like...six? Six heads?
Gravity Falls · 241 quotes
