Blair Waldorf, a fling? You're not exactly low maintenance.
“Never Been Marcused” · Season 2, Episode 2
In this episode: Blair Waldorf (11), Serena van der Woodsen (6), Chuck Bass (5), Gossip Girl (3), Dan Humphrey (2), Catherine (2), Nate Archibald (1)
It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!
And you really expect me to believe this isn't all about revenge on Chuck?
Revenge is so 12 hours ago! And just because Marcus is the perfect post-Bass palate cleanser doesn't mean he isn't a delicious dish in his own right!
This is you. Just be yourself!
[after being humiliated by Catherine] She made Waldorf rhyme with Spears! I may as well have gone commando and held my party at Nyla's Burger Basket.
Fine. While you stand here and feel sorry for yourself and denigrate the fine people of Kentwood, I'm gonna go find Dan.
Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus' mommy is even sicker than you are.
You got along great?
I think she recognized herself in me. Or rather, I recognized someone in her.
I don't follow.
All you need to know is, you lost. But don't be too hard on yourself. It was a solid effort.
Tomorrow's another day.
Good night, Chuck.
Good night, Blair.
What's this? Chuck's date and Blair's date are mother and son? And Nate and Blair are exes? And Nate and the mother are in a book club? Now there's a novel plot twist.
I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Why, so she can warn me about the effects of too much Botox?
Blair, is it? I'm Duchess Beaton.
[flabbergasted] Duchess? Nice to meet you.
I know you're here with Chuck, and I can only imagine what he said about me. Limo sex, social torture, freshmen, blackmail. But I assure you, there's an explanation for all of it.
Save your breath, Blair. Chuck didn't tell me a thing.
He didn't.
I told him it didn't make any difference to me, because ... despite your best efforts, which are completely transparent, by the way, Marcus will never end up with a lowly Waldorf.
Duchess? I'm so sorry, for what I said about the botox. Your work is flawless.
I was just thinking about... this morning... on the bus ...
Yeah, we didn't exactly stick to the plan, did we?
Well, if you can't find common ground with a dictator, I don't know who can.
Dan likes soccer, right? Or football, as Marcus calls it? Think it would be too weird if he came?
Not... necessarily ...
Good, you'll call him?
Does this mean you actually think Dan has a redeeming quality?
As long as knows his arse from his Arsenal, I think he's aces.
Spotted, Chuck Bass putting his new BFF on speed dial. Is it the beginning of a beautiful bro-mance? Or the end of Blair's bid to be British?
MMarcus
No one's ever good enough. I've dated a lot of top-flight girls and she always sends them running. She gets inside their heads, figures out their worst fears and then ...
... ruthlessly exploits that fear. Sounds rough.
No offense, but don't you think you're a little outmatched?
At squash? I've been playing my father since 8th grade, how good can Marcus be?
No, I mean as a guy. Blair wants to be a princess and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club.
Which is why I have to get to know him. No one is that perfect. Once I get him outta the way, I'll have a clear shot with Blair.
You know it's love when you start talking like an assassin.
I think you're jealous of my new best friend!
Well I have been hoping someone else would tag in for awhile.
Squash? I'll squash you.
It's just a game, Blair.
Not to me, Basshole. I like him!
So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.
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