With all the horrible crap I've been through in my life, now I get to add that.
S3 E7I Kissed A Girl
PPuck
Thanks for the offer but I'd rather raw dog a beehive.
I don't want you to die. A few weeks ago, some kid who made one of those It Gets Better videos killed himself.
Thanks, but that's never going to happen. I'd miss me too much.
JJosh
Saw the commercial. Smokin'!
Who the hell are you?
JJosh
Josh Coleman. Sophomore rugby captain. Girls like you are a challenge. You just need the right guy to straighten you out and I'm just the man to do it.
[The New Directions and Troubletones girls approach Santana and Josh.]
Move your busted creeper ass…
…now!
JJosh
Easy girls. I'm just trying to make her normal.
She is normal.
It's not a choice, idiot. But even if it were you would be our last choice.
JJosh
Oh, I get it. So you're all a bunch of lesbos.
So what if we are. You don't stand a chance either way.
I like what Kurt stands for, and Brittany's insane, but just like my dad always voted for the candidate who was least ethnic, I'm voting for the one who's most girl. [checks off Brittany on the card]
Brittany is my home Troubletones girl but thank God for secret ballots because if Santana's girlfriend wins this election I'll never going to hear the end of it. [checks off Kurt on the card]
PPuck
I let you down, we all did. We just spent a whole week helping Santana with a secret everybody already knows and not one person took ten seconds to help you. And you're a freakin' mess. You have been for three years, ever since I knocked you up. You don't need a baby or a dude or anyone to make you special. If there's one person that I'm sure is gonna get the hell out of this town and make something of herself, it's you.
I love girls the way that I'm supposed to feel about boys. It's just something that's always been inside of me, and I really want to share it with you because I love you so much. I want you to know me. Who I really am. When I'm with Brittany… I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I've tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside… but every day just feels like a war. I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm just too tired. I have to just be me.
I picked a song that gives me strength and gets me through. The struggle continues but at least I know I'm not alone. Same way all of you do.
(In promo)
I made out with a girl.
[to Santana] It was before we met.
S3 E8Hold On to Sixteen
I don't like you.
Fun. I don't like you either.
I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm on to you.
Let's get a few things straight, Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'Gay Face' and it ain't me. Odds are by the end of the school year, i'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.
You smell like Craigslist.
I didn't know Backdraft was a musical.
[frowns when realizations hits her]
AAnnouncer
Someone get the door because here comes Mr. Package.
Oh God no.
AAnnouncer
And ladies, let's give a warm welcome to White Chocolate.
[Sam walks out and starts dancing on the stage as a stripper called White Chocolate and Finn and Rachel stare in shock.]
That's an image I'll never be able to get out of my mind.
Give me a dollar.
What?
Just give me a dollar.
[gives Rachel a dollar and Rachel approaches Sam]
[shocked] Rachel. Rachel!
EMrs. Evans
Can you two go into the other room and make yourselves busy?
Of course.
Yeah, I'm really good a looking busy.
I just heard the news that Trouty Mouth is back in town. I've been keeping a notebook, just in case this day ever came. Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I've missed you so much since your family has pack their bags, loaded them into your mouth and skipped town. Can't tell you how many times I've wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you've been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infants' heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you're back. I haven't seen a smile that big since a clyamation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana.
[smiles] I missed you too, Santana. [hugs her]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.