PPuck
Number one, you're hot. Number two, I'm hot. Number three, Beth needs a dad.
S3 E6Mash Off
Finn, I just want you to know that no matter what, I've got you're back. Like, when that girl with the lips was saying you look like a whale, I wanted to tell her that I think you look fine.
Have you ever heard of the term 'trash talk'?
Is that when you discuss trash?
(To Finn) Hey Orca! (bumps into him)
Hey Santana! You look like an assless J-Lo.
(laughs)
You're skinny like all the crops failed on your family's farm.
That is the lamest thing I didn't understand a word of.
You seriously think you can out-insult me? I'm from Lima Heights, I was raised on insults. It's how my abuela puts me to sleep at night, and she was not a nice lady. Did you know she tried to sell me once? And it wasn't until I got to kindergarten that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face.
Excuse me, I've never heard of this game of dodging balls. What are the rules?
PPuck
Don't. Die.
Ladies! Vocal warm-ups can wait. I was up half the night thinking about our mash-up for the mash-off, and it came to me: Adele.
I sound just like her.
I love her. I think she sounds like how banana cream pie sounds when it sings.
And now that we have that decision out of the way, I can stay focused on my one-sided battle of wits with the knuckle-dragger.
Santana, the dodgeball thing was fun until the end, but enough.
Oh no, honey, I'm just getting started.
I'm the leader of this group, and I'm telling you: Lay off those guys.
I'm sorry. The leader? Who died and made you queen, Aretha?
I brought you guys in and I came up with the idea for our mash-up while you were wasting time trying to figure out how to make Finn Hudson cry. So, I nominate myself as president of the Troubletones; all in favor?
You are a star member of this group, and you need to represent.
[singsong] Stop the violence. [nudges Santana] Come on.
[smiles] All right. From now on, I'll be so nice cotton candy will melt in my mouth.
Hey Tubs! Can I talk to you for a second?
Hey, listen here. You can't make fun of Finn anymore.
Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize. [to Finn] Rachel's right, I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuctions.
Whoa.
Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. And also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel's coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I'd stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights. [walks away]
Hey Santana, why don't you just come out of the closet? [Santana stops walking and becomes shocked; Finn begins to approach her] You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany, and she might not love you back. That must hurt, not to be able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. [walks away]
Tornadoes are nature's most destructive force. These violent storms have ravaged America, crippling communities all across our land. Isn't it time we take a stand? If you honor me with being your next class president, I will make tornadoes illegal at McKinley, keeping you and your families at our school safe from their murderous rampages. Also, on Tuesdays, uh, I pledge to go topless.
So about the whole pastie thing...
Let's just skip ahead while we're ahead, dollie.
What did you just say to her? [points at Rachel]
I said I thought you were great.
No, you're lying.
No. He literally just said that.
(at Finn) You told her too?
[stands up] Santana.
(at Finn) Everyone's gonna know now, because of you.
The whole school already knows. And you know what? They don't care.
Not just the school, you idiot. Everyone!
What are you talking abo-
[Santana slaps Finn]
[Silence]
S3 E7I Kissed A Girl
I haven't been this worried about a vote since Lambert versus Allen.
I going to lose unless I pull a JFK.
You're going to shoot Brittany?!
We're all worried about you.
Worry about yourself, fetus face.
Everyone in this room knows about you and Brittany and we don't judge you for it. We celebrate it because it's who you are.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.