Tina Cohen-Chang quotes from Glee

Mike

I got an A-, Tina.

Tina

You got an Asian F?

Santana

I also think you should wait. Speaking from experience Finn's terrible in bed.

Tina

That's terrible to say, Santana.

Santana

What? If Rachel wants my sloppy seconds, she should at least know the truth. Look, it was like being smothered by a sweaty, out of breath sack of potatoes that somebody soaked in body spray.

Brittany

I lost my virginity at cheerleading camp. He just climbed into my tent. Alien invasion.

Mercedes

Move your busted creeper ass…

Tina

…now!

Easy girls. I'm just trying to make her normal.

Brittany

She is normal.

Quinn

It's not a choice, idiot. But even if it were you would be our last choice.

Oh, I get it. So you're all a bunch of lesbos.

Rachel

So what if we are. You don't stand a chance either way.

Artie

I want to be there to see my kid's first steps.

Sugar

I want to be there to see Sex & The City Part 3.

Wow.

I'm sort of embarrassed to admit it, but I really do want to graduate high school.

Finn

I'm going to petition the Army to change my dad's dishonorable discharge status to an honorable one.

Quinn

I'm looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class.

Santana

I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again.

Brittany

I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction.

Blaine

I'm looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states.

MIke

I'm looking forward to the first time I dance at Carnegie Hall.

Tina

I just want a song.

Mercedes

Finn, out! You can't see the bride before the wedding.

Finn

It's okay, I've already seen her.

Tina

But that's bad luck!

Rachel

No, it's fine.

Finn

Rachel, we gotta go or we're going to lose our slot.

Rachel

Can we please wait a couple more minutes for Quinn, please?

Finn

It's now or never.

Rachel

[grabs her phone and texts Quinn again]

Burt

[to Hiram] If you're going to do something, do it fast.

Hiram

New plan. I'm going to fake an epileptic seizure.

LeRoy

You're not an epileptic.

Hiram

That's why I'm going to fake it.

Burt

Hurry up.

Quinn

[peeks at her cellphone which reads 2 messages & texts to Rachel "on my way"]

Finn

Whoa, whoa Tina where are you going?

Tina

You guys don't need me-- carry on.

Rachel

Tina, you don't understand. I need this.

Tina

Because you blew an audition? That's not a reason for you to get a solo at nationals. Maybe the rest of us would like one, too.

Rory

I wouldn't mind having another one before I get deported.

Sugar

I want one even though I can't sing.

Mike

Tina, Rachel's a senior.

Tina

So are you, but you can bet the only thing you'll be doing is a dance break with Brittany. Other people matter.

Will

Tina, you might not always get the solos, but you are a key player. I put you in charge of costumes.

Tina

Wow! like that's some prize. You want props to move around? Well I'm a human prop, and I'm sick of it!

Sue

Take a lap and cool down, Asian Number One.

Tina

My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang!

Sue

Isn't she the one who used to stutter?

Rachel

Tina, look, I understand that you feel like your voice is being stifled right now, in the glee club. I mean, I have no idea why you would choose this moment specifically to make a stink about it but I want you to know you are being heard. Which is why I am willing to offer you $50 just to let this all blow over until after Nationals.

Rachel

Do you have any idea how important Nationals is to me? I mean if I can convince Carmen Tibideaux to come and watch us perform, then it's basically like a do-over for my NYADA audition, which means that my entire future depends on us being amazing, which means that everyone has to do their part.

Tina

Their part to make you look good. I've sat, for three years, in the back of that choir room, holding Mikes hand or crying or smiling and swaying, while everyone else was out there singing solos. Maybe I say something, most of the time I don't, team player all the way. I am tired of being silent. I am one of the original glee club members and I was singing Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat when Finn and Puck were still throwing slushies at us. So when is it my turn?

Rachel

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be me? Do you have a Facebook account or Twitter account?

Tina

Yes.

Rachel

Do you have time to watch Bravo or read a book or buy laces for your incredibly high comical boots? Okay? I don't. It's exhausting being me. I get up at 5:00 in the morning just to get all of this prepared, in case a solo is thrown my way. I have the entire Sondheim, Hamlisch, Lloyd-Webber, Elton John songbooks memorized, including every single Katy Perry hit, as well. And I do all of this while keeping my boyfriend interested and physically satisfied and being the captian of 16 clubs and keeping a 3.86 GPA.

Tina

I could do all of that.

Rachel

And you will. Next year. You'll have your chance next year.

Tina

All I want, for one moment, to feel like you. Be up on that stage and get one of the standing ovations you're so used to getting.

Rachel

Madame Tibideaux, hello. I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's me, Rachel Berry.

(groans)

Rachel

I'm sorry, I realize that I've been a little persistant, but I'm just...

I am a very busy woman. Every moment I spend deleting yet another one of your voicemails about lost hopes and dreams takes time away from another student. What makes you think that you are entitled to any more attention than other hundereds of people I see with the same hopes and dreams?

Rachel

No. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to take time away from them.

But you do. And I'm tired of it.

Tina

Ms. Tibideaux, I know exactly how you feel. Rachel Berry is a pain in the ass. What she wants, she gets. And I've spent a lot of time resenting her for it. But the fact is, she gets it because she's exceptional. Not just the voice, which is sick, but the focus, the drive. How often do you come across the real deal?

The "real deal" that couldn't remember the words to the song?

Tina

Which was as rare as a Bigfoot sighting. She had an off day, and that decides her whole future?

Rachel

Ms. Tibideaux, I realize that I'm asking you to take me into special consideration, but let me ask you. You've had an amazing career, did you get their by playing it safe? Please, we're performing our Nationals in Chicago, and we saw that you're going to be singing there at the Lyric Opera. And before you close the door, I just, I need you to hear me sing. I have to. There's nothing that I'm as good at or as passionate about or that brings me that much joy. And I think that that sets me apart.

And I think it's time for you and your friend to go.

Rachel

Okay, but I just want you to know that... I'll see you again next year. And every year after that until I get in. Didn't I read somewhere that you that you auditioned for Julliard four times? Thank you.

Will

I'll be taking a short sabbatical which means I'm leaving McKinley at the end of the week.

Tina

Wait, this is crazy.

Artie

Glee club is your life.

Will

Thank you for coming to the first annual New Directions' Regionals nominations party.

Artie

What's the point, Mr. Schue? Coach Sylvester's one of the judges. She's going to crush us.

Will

Artie, you don't know that.

Santana

Yes, we do, she told us at Cheerios practice.

Brittany

Yeah, she said, "I'm going to crush Glee Club".

A whole freaking year. All that hard work for nothing.

Tina

[Crying] I'm sorry. I just really love you guys. You know how many Facebook friends I had before I joined Glee Club? Two. My parents. Rachel was right. Being a part of something special-it made me special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week.

Finn

Wait, who says it's going to be over?

Mercedes

Please. You think Puck and Santana are going to even acknowledge my existence once we're not in Glee Club together anymore?

She has a point.

Rachel

Mr. Schuester? Do you think instead of nominating songs, we can just...all go around the room and talk about things we loved about Glee Club this year? [has tears going down her face]

Finn

That was awesome!

Tina

I think we got second place in the bag!

Rachel

Screw that! We're gonna win this!

Rachel

[to Will] So, we have something we need to say to you.

In the beginning of this year I was just another football player.

Tina

I had a stutter.

Mercedes

I was a closeted diva.

Quinn

I used to be captain of the Cheerios.

Mike

I was afraid to dance outside my room.

Santana

I hated everyone in this club.

Brittany

So did I.

Kurt

I wasn't honest about who I was.

I was tossing guys into dumpsters.

Artie

I had never kissed a girl before

Rachel

And I was getting slushied.

Finn

I didn't--I didn't have a father. Someone I could look up to. Model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man.

Rachel

We don't care what the judges say. We won. Because we had you as a teacher.

Mercedes

And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Schue, because you are Glee Club. And you're in all of us now.