And when I got back from Grandpa's office, they all invited me out onto the patio.
No no no, please tell me you did not go out onto the patio.
I went out onto the patio.
Ugh, Rory, that's like accepting the position as the drummer in Spinal Tap.
S2 E6Presenting Lorelai Gilmore
I swear, there is nothing in the world my mother is better at than getting someone to agree to something that in any other universe, they would never ever consider.
Mom.
I am still convinced she had something to do with Lily Tomlin doing that movie with John Travolta
See; now only a lady can gracefully walk around a room with a book on her head while eating Kung pow chicken. I mean a great lady can even spit the peanuts back into the container without anyone noticing.
Wow!
Yeah, well don't be intimidated. You have to practice and practice to get to my level.
Anyone want the last egg roll?
Err...no!
Hey, where are you going?
To get the last egg roll.
Getting the egg roll yourself?
Yes!
No, ladies never get their own egg rolls, ladies never get their own anything they don't even get their own ideas.
Oh boy!
They just sit helplessly and wait for some young strong man to come by and assist them. They don't step in puddles, they don't step over puddles, and they can't even look at puddles. They actually need to be blindfolded and thrown in a sack and carried over puddles.
Isn't there a moratorium on how long ladies are supposed to talk?
Err…no! Now repeat after me "I am completely helpless".
May I have this dance?
I don't know. Do you have a trust fund? Always make sure.
S2 E7Like Mother, Like Daughter
[Lorelai has to model in a charity event for Booster Club that her mother made her get involved in.]
Ugh, they totally just snuck that modeling thing in.
Hmm, my mom's a model. Maybe you'll get to date Leonardo DiCaprio now.
Plus, now I have to plan the whole stupid thing.
"Lorelai Gilmore". Nope, doesn't sound model-y enough. You need something that stands out more. How about "Waffle"? We could call you Waffle and say you're from Belgium.
[Lorelai dials her cellphone.]
Okay, I'm crabby, I need to do something about it. [on phone] Hey Mom!
Well, hello.
So I went to my first Booster meeting last night, did Bitty tell you?
No, she did not.
Oh, well, maybe she's still stuck under that desk. You might want to send someone out there to look.
Well, it's certainly nice to hear you finally getting involved.
Yes, in fact we're planning a charity fashion show next weekend, and I volunteered to organize it.
Well, good for you.
Yes, and since I know how concerned you are about how Rory's perceived at Chilton, I knew you'd want to be involved somehow, so you're gonna be one of the models.
Excuse me?
Yeah, so it's next Saturday, be there at four, and we'll provide hair and makeup.
Lorelai, you can't be serious.
Oh, and we'll need your measurements also.
This is ridiculous.
Mom. You said you wanted me to be involved. Well, I'm involved now. Don't you want to do your part to ensure Rory's future?
All right.
Start measuring.
[Lorelai hangs up.]
You feel better now?
Waffle's very happy.
That's what you got busted for, ringing a bell?
Yeah, mm hmm.
That's it? Bell ringing?
Yes.
Uh, were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Mom.
No, I mean, bad girl. How many times have I told you not to ring bells?
S2 E8The Ins and Outs of Inns
This goes well beyond a head of lettuce, young man. The charges against your nephew are numerous. He stole the 'save the bridge' money.
He gave that back.
He stole a gnome from Babette's garden.
Pierpont was also returned.
He hooted one of my dance classes.
FFran
He took a garden hose from my yard.
AAndrew
My son said he set off the fire alarms at school last week.
I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay for Glitter!
Very tasty. New cook?
Yes, Marisella. She’s introduced us to some wonderful dishes so charmingly specific to her native country.
What country is she from?
One of those little ones next to Mexico.
How charmingly specific.
S2 E9Run Away, Little Boy
Rory, sorry to interrupt. Hi, Henry. But see, we're all standing over there trying to map out a game plan and a rehearsal schedule, and I'm sure whatever the two of you are talking about over here is so much more fascinating and important and, well, gosh, let's just say it: fun. But I'd really like to get an 'A' on this assignment, and in order to do that I'm afraid you're gonna have to discuss your sock hops and your clambakes some other time, okay? Thanks.
Where's Tristin? He said he was coming with you.
Oh, he's here. He just went over to the market.
What?
He needed cigarettes, just in case we didn't already know that he was bad.
S2 E10The Bracebridge Dinner
[Rory tells her mother about the school newspaper homework she's been saddled with.]
What?! Why?
Because, Paris wants the first issue back to be a double issue, so we have to prep over break, and… she says the news never sleeps.
What about Paris? Does she ever sleep?
I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.
[While Sookie talks to the inn staff about the upcoming dinner, Kirk is clicking away, taking notes.]
Keep in mind during the Bracebridge dinner, we are not just servers, we are performers. So, anytime you're with a guest, you must be in character and you must speak Old English. It's a world we're creating here, so whatever we can do— Kirk, you're driving me crazy!
Who, me?
[He looks down at his laptop and reads.]
"Whatever we can do Kirk you're driving me crazy." Yeah, me. I'm… sorry.
[after the original Bracebridge Dinner is cancelled] Let's invite everyone!
Everyone who?
Everyone everyone!
Everyone everyone who?
Everyone we know, everyone we like...
Let's invite everyone!
An out of control, over the top slumber party!
I love it!
Me too!
Done! Spread the word.
I haven't said I'd come yet so I'm certainly not gonna suddenly become your messenger boy. [Lorelai gives him a glaring look] Eight o'clock?
Seven.
Right.
Gotta say sleigh rides are a little much but these horses are really beautiful.
[sitting behind the horse] Yes, especially from this angle.
Not just from this angle.
No, seriously don't back track. The horse has got a nice butt there.
That's not what I'm saying.
Nice firm hinie.
Stop talking about the horse's hinie.
Hey Mom, you didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky?
Could you be any cruder?
Yeah, I could be cruder. Hey Mom, did you get lai...
Thanks for coming!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.