TV show quotes
[Lorelai pressing the remote buttons for the TiVo]
Not killing it. I'm composing on it. I'm composing a symphony. Finally an instrument I can play!
Gimme that.
No. Not until you explain your choices. The View? Girlfriends? Sabado Gigante? Who controlls this thing, You? or Pedro Almodóvar?
Wow how Dangerous Liaisons of her. She doesn't call, or e-mail and then she sends you a letter with a wax seal that weighs roughly the same as a porterhouse?...Gosh that's a lot of "sorry."
I don't know if its the yoga...or the yoga instructor...she's dating her yoga instructor, Jean Claude or Jean Pierre...I dunno one of those names that always sounds fake.
[on the phone] Hello.
Hey, What’s going on?
Well, Stars Hollow smells like pickles.
Pickles?
Pickles.
Pickles pickles?
Pickles.
Why?
Because a pickle train crashed.
Is this a joke? A long boring joke that I’m not going to get?
No it's no joke, the town smells like pickles because the pickle train was derailed.
A train full of pickles, who knew there was such a thing?
Pickle train conductors, for one. Sounds so fun. I would have been the greatest pickle train conductor. Can you see me, “All aboard you pickles.”
Clearly you missed your calling.
Well luckily there’s you. You're young, you’re clever, you’re our great pickle train conducting hope.
I can’t believe I’m missing this.
Well you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. Now what’s going on with you?
Well, I can’t make it to Friday night dinner tonight, but I have a very good excuse.
Pickle Train Conducting Seminar?
Logan’s in town.
No way!
Yeah he showed up last night. It was a total surprise.
I can’t believe you let me go on and on about pickle train conducting when you had actual news.
You had news, Stars Hollow smells like pickles. I can completely see that scrolling along the CNN crawl.
Logan in town is totally pre-pickle news. How long is he here for?
6 and ½ more hours. He flew in yesterday, bought a company, and he’s flying back out tonight.
Oh my God, what are you guys going to do with your precious remaining hours? Or don’t I want to know.
Mom.
Well, you might be farming rutabagas or something, and I wouldn’t want to know because...boring.
Well, tonight I’m meeting him in Manhattan to celebrate.
Fancy restaurant?
Rutabaga farm, actually. Oh, but I'm sorry about dinner. I didn’t mean to abandon you in your time of need.
No worries. I’m not going to be totally defenseless; I’m bringing your dad.
Really? Wow!
Yeah! I thought it was time he meet the parents.
OK, that is pre-pickle news, my friend.
Aww, this conversation has been a disaster hasn’t it?
Yes it has.
Alright. Brring Brring. Hi Rory, how are you?
Hi, Mom. Logan’s in town.
Oh my goodness, that's wonderful.
We're farming rutabagas.
Oh! You're a filthy child. I will disown you. Bringing your father to dinner. Pickles, Pickles, Pickles, smell, pickle train conducting.
Alas, alack.
Good talk.
The best.
Bye.
It's just no saying killer, no saying whack, no saying rockin' or pimpin' or slamming, capisce?
Fo' shizzle.
There's gotta be an eject button here somehwere...
Parents weekend is for lame-o parents whose kids hate them so they need a school sanctioned event so they all spend some time together.
A professor of geology is giving a tour of the Peabody Museum.
My kid likes me. I can go to Yale anytime I want. 51 weekends of the year is my parent's weekend.
The grass is just not this green. Not outside of Pleasantville it isn't.
...
Maybe they spray painted the grass when they spray painted the trees because there's autumnal foilage and then there's autumnal foilage. It's over the top people!
Do you think they piped in this crisp fall smell?
Hey let's be Laverne & Shirley!
What? No.
Antony and Cleopatra? F. Scott and Zelda? Zinf and del?
I think I'll stick to my own name.
Señor Boring-Pants. Mr. Stick in the Mud? A-capella. A-capella. There's a terrifying number of a-capella jams this weekend.
[On the phone with Rory]
Hey we're here. With bells on. And nothing else. Except leg warmers, rollerskates, and Groucho Marx's glasses...We are near a big brick building and near an old tree.
Tell her we're by the L-shaped building that from the top looks like a Polaroid camera.
Believe it or not, I don't know what all of Yale's buildings look like from the sky.
Well how ignorant of you honey. -[to Christopher] Rory says that she doesn't give two figs about Yale's architecture.
Not two figs?
No just one and a half.
Who wears a nametag in the middle of their chest?
Superman
Superman wears an emblem
So, this is my emblem.
"Hello I'm Rory Gilmore's dad, Christopher" is your emblem?
Yeah.
I'm going to have to ask you to walk 15 feet in front of me.
Will there be food on the plane?
There will be food. But airplane food is one of life's cruel jokes. So we have snacks up the wazoo.
You should call your "Girls Gone Wild" friends. They seem delightful in a get crazy drunk in Cancun and flash your breasts kind of way.
Mom, I'm pregnant! We waited until after we were married. If you don't believe us we have a note from the doctor which doesn't prove anything but it's true!
Hit me! Hit me!
I would like a cheeseburger, with a side of cheeseburger, and see if they can make me a cheeseburger smoothie.
He didn't say so much as chortle.
No room service? And no mini-bar? But two toilets? Where are their priorities?
Let me float another plan
Don't say float unless there's a root beer attached to it!
So wide awake I could watch the Ken Burns' documentary of Sadd and I wouldn't fall asleep.
There are a 104 fleur de li's stenciled on the ceiling that's how wide awake I am.
I kept trying to hum Brahms' lullaby in my head but it kept morphing into Purple Rain and purple rain made me think of jam, which made me think of English muffins slathered in grape jam.
ASAP. So please call me. STASAP. Sooner than as soon as possible.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
