So, Davey, beautiful day, huh? What would you like to discuss? Middle East peace, the space program? I'm sorry, what's that? Oh, my God. He said, "The answer to the problems in the Mideast is, 'I have to poop.'"
He got distracted.
S4Die, Jerk
More broccoli, Grandpa?
Absolutely. Staves off the cancer.
Staves off my appetite.
You really should eat more green things, Lorelai.
I plan to eat a five-dollar bill later tonight.
Oh, have you seen the new twenties? They have a little peach color in 'em.
Peach, perfect. I'll eat a new twenty, I'll have my fruits and vegetables.
Remember when I was a kid, my mother showed me the special jug that's been passed down in my family for years and years in a long-standing Kim tradition that she is personally going to present to the boy I'm going to wed?
Oh, my God. The marriage jug?
The marriage jug.
She's sending Dave the marriage jug? What does that mean?
I'm guessing it means she's reserving a hall and ordering that "Stations of the Cross" ice sculpture.
Hi, hon. Jason, this is my daughter, Rory. Rory, Jason.
Right, Scooper.
Digger.
Sorry. Digger.
It's nice to meet you. And I don't really go by Digger anymore.
What is it, P. Digger now?
Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties.
She did not say that.
She did say that.
It seems a little wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well and Roy got eaten by his tiger.
S4Ted Koppel's Big Night Out
[Rory notices Luke's new waiter.]
Oh, my god.
What?
He hired Brennon Lewis.
And?
Ew!
He doesn't look that bad.
He's the boy who dissected a frog, did not wash his hands, and then ate a sandwich.
Ew!
He's like the lost Farrelly brother. He's so stupid. He watched The Breakfast Club and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together.
[leaving a message for Lorelai] OK, see, a better man, a smarter man, a different man would take into account the fact that flowers, candy, and numerous phone calls have gone completely unnoticed by you. Those men would get a clue, have some pride, grow a pair and move on. Oh well. Lorelai Gilmore, daughter of Richard and Emily, mother of Rory, and friend to all, would you join me for dinner on Saturday night? Please call me back, because I will some day find my pathetic threshold and stop trying.
I like that boy.
Prove it. Drop your pants!
Oh, wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart?
PPennilyn
Yes.
You're my almost-mommy.
PPennilyn
Well, I suppose you could put it that way.
I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something - would you have let me get a pony?
Where are you going?
Just watch my Snow Balls, please.
Not on the first date, mister.
S4The Nanny and the Professor
Marzipan's not candy! It's a unique substance unto itself, like Velveeta or plutonium.
DDoyle
What is this?
Strawberry ice cream.
DDoyle
It has strawberries in it.
I don't even know how to respond to that.
Yes, what about that? This guy's risking everything - his job, his reputation.
Yes, well. . .he'll always have Paris.
How long have you been waiting with that one?
I just had a feeling the opportunity would present itself eventually.
Maybe it's a phase. It'll pass.
Oh, yeah, or he will.
No, I don't wanna know where you were, and I don't wanna know what you were doing or who you were doing it with. I had to cover for you when Doyle noticed that you were gone, so I told him that you were at a family thing, and as far as I'm concerned, that's where you were - at your family thing. And in the future, I want nothing to do with anything to do with what you were doing tonight or who you were doing it with, especially who! Now, go to sleep.
I smell like pipe tobacco.
Oh, jeez.
Um, listen, we should talk about what we're gonna do.
About what?
I mean, you know, what we're gonna, uh, say to people about us.
Hm, how about "yahoo"?
No, I'm talking about what we're gonna say to my parents about us.
Oh, well, I thought we'd say that we're having repeated sexual encounters out of wedlock continuously as Catholic schoolchildren are walking by.
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