Jason Stiles quotes from Gilmore Girls

Jason

[leaving a message for Lorelai] OK, see, a better man, a smarter man, a different man would take into account the fact that flowers, candy, and numerous phone calls have gone completely unnoticed by you. Those men would get a clue, have some pride, grow a pair and move on. Oh well. Lorelai Gilmore, daughter of Richard and Emily, mother of Rory, and friend to all, would you join me for dinner on Saturday night? Please call me back, because I will some day find my pathetic threshold and stop trying.

Lorelai

Hi, hon. Jason, this is my daughter, Rory. Rory, Jason.

Rory

Right, Scooper.

Lorelai

Digger.

Rory

Sorry. Digger.

Jason

It's nice to meet you. And I don't really go by Digger anymore.

Lorelai

What is it, P. Digger now?

Lorelai

Where are you going?

Jason

Just watch my Snow Balls, please.

Lorelai

Not on the first date, mister.

Lorelai

Um, listen, we should talk about what we're gonna do.

Jason

About what?

Lorelai

I mean, you know, what we're gonna, uh, say to people about us.

Jason

Hm, how about "yahoo"?

Lorelai

No, I'm talking about what we're gonna say to my parents about us.

Jason

Oh, well, I thought we'd say that we're having repeated sexual encounters out of wedlock continuously as Catholic schoolchildren are walking by.

Lorelai

Are you doing like a Mrs. Robinson thing with my mother?

Jason

Yes. I was visiting Richard one day and he stepped out and Emily lit a cigarette and did that triangle thing with her thigh.

Lorelai

How could he do this? How could my father just take the business from you?

Jason

Oh, no, no, no. He left me the business, but without the clients, the business consists of some stationery, a coffee maker, and some rubber pencil grips.

Lorelai

I don't understand. Why would my father do that?

Jason

Because it's brilliant. It's perfect. He gets my dad to drop the lawsuit, he makes some extra cash, and he's sitting pretty. Makes perfect sense.

Jason

Well, I have to work, and he's making it pretty impossible for me to work here. Oh, my God. I'm gonna end up in Houston.

Lorelai

Jason...

Jason

Where all the financial wash ups wash up. It's gonna be me and the Enron boys smoking cigars while their ankle cuffs beep in the background.