[Jess returns to Stars Hollow to retrieve the car that Luke stole from him.]
LukeSo, you got anything you wanna say?
... You coulda washed it once in a while?
Luke
Okay, fine. The car is yours. Our business here is done. Hasta la vista. Have a nice life.
Our business here is NOT done. My car is wrecked because of you!
Luke
Oh, yeah?
3 of the tires are leaking, it's got no oil, the floats in the carburetor are probably cracked so it's back-firing like mad. I mean, people were DUCKING when I was driving by. Then it stalled and wouldn't start.
Luke
Well, you can find Mr. Goodwrench in the yellow pages, I think it's under M, or is it G? I can never tell with those kinds of things.
You're paying for the repairs.
Luke
Oh, don't make me laugh.
It's broken because of you.
Luke
That thing was a piece of junk to begin with; the paint is the only thing holding it together!
And the expired registration? I'm gonna have to pay a fine!
Luke
So, I guess it didn't work out with your dad, huh?
Luke
So, what are you doing back East, buddy? Still searchin'?
Luke
Well, thanks for all the swell cards and letters you sent while you were away.
You kicked me out! What were you expecting, a candygram?!
Luke
I didn't kick you out, you got yourself kicked out.
Nice spin, you should work for Bush!
Luke
So what did you get out of this Kerouac trip of yours? You write the great American novel or something? You learn how to play the harmonica?
What do you care? You're not my guardian anymore.
Luke
And I bless every day that I'm not.
Well, when you're not good at something, it's best to cut and run.
Luke
Aww, sorry I tried to give you a decent life, Jess. Sorry I didn't think driving a fork-lift for the rest of your life was good enough for you.
Oh, that is condescending, isn't it? I thought you were a friend of the working man.
Luke
Oh, that sister of mine, what a prize. What a prize!
What does she have to do with any of this?
Luke
I tell her about the car, she runs and tells you. That's what happened, right? And her claiming she had no contact.
Again, the car is mine! Liz was doing the right thing. That's what family does!
Luke
Family? What a joke coming from you.
Go clean your counters, I'm tired.
Luke
Jeez!
You want it? You can have it. And not compromised, stifling, soul-killing love, but open, honest, life-affirming love. But how do you get it? How do you get this love?
Luke
If I knew that, what the hell would I need you for?
It's going to take work. It's going to take introspection. You're gonna have to learn new things -- how to be your own best friend, how to treat your damaged psyche with a little kindness, how to say, "hey, pal, you're worth it. You mean something to someone, and you deserve love." That is the key. If you crave love, then you deserve love. Say that to yourself. If I crave love, I deserve love. [Luke sighs deeply.] Now, how did that feel coming out? I'll bet it was hard. I'll bet you felt ridiculous. Some of you may even have been incapable of saying it at all. Try again.
Luke
I'm not incapable. I just haven't been hit in the head with the Oprah stick lately.
Trust me, my friend -- it will get easier, until one day, you turn around, and you are not alone. Ready to begin the journey? It's going to be one hell of a ride. Okay, let's go. Open up your workbook to page one.
Luke
[opens his workbook] It doesn't get lower than this.
Luke
[about the Renaissance Fair themed wedding] Just do me a favor. I'm gonna try to keep a happy, proud look on my face to cover the smirking and about-to-laugh-my-ass-off face just underneath. Help me achieve this.
Oh, come on. They have a community of people, friends, you know, who travel together, engage in silliness, dress in costume. I think it's nice.
Luke
And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment.
There was! There was a moment.
[Luke pauses as if he is making a decision, then steps toward her.]
Luke
Will you just stand still?
[He wraps his arms around her and kisses her deeply. She pulls back, shocked, but then moves toward him again.]
Luke
What are you doing?
Will you just stand still?
[She kisses him and he wraps his arms around her again.]
[Sookie descends the stairs and approaches]
Hey! It's a party. What's everybody doing up?
Aw, hey, good timing, Squiggy.
I was just going to check on my loaves and make sure they're rising properly. The air's a little more humid than I thought it was going to be, and if the loaves aren't rising properly, then -- what are you doing? [They both pull Sookie closer to the sofa]
We need you to look at Kirk's butt.
Well, because he ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.
Well, because... you're a chef.
Luke
And you have a kid.
Yes, that's better. You have a kid.
Luke
Neither of us has kids. Well, she does, but it's big and -- and -- and can look at her own butt.
Luke
[on Lorelai's answering machine] Hey it's me. Listen I got a call from my sister and TJ, they are up in Maine and they got into a little accident. Nothing too major, just each one of them broke an arm and a leg. So anyhow, they can't run the Renaissance fair booth for a couple of weeks. So they asked me to come and help them out, and I, unfortunately, answered the phone, so I'm on my way to Maine. I'll be back in about a week. OK? Bye.
[Message number 2]
Luke
Hey it's me again, I'm not sure we are at the point in this relationship where you actually need to know that much information about my whereabouts. So if we're not, I'm sorry. I could have just said, "I'm going out of town, and I'll call you later." So I'm going out of town, and I'll call you later.
[Message number 3]
Luke
It's me again. The idiot that leaves you three rambling messages on your machine. I just wanted to tell you I got a cell phone before I left so... You know you could call if you want, but only if you want so... That's it.
[Message number 4]
Luke
Yeah number might be good.
Luke
860-294-1986. OK bye.
[Message number 5, she is finishing writing down the number]
Luke
Just...don't change your mind until I get back, OK? OK, talk to you later.
I was just trying to remember the first time we met. It must have been at Luke's, right?
Luke
It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day. The place was packed. And this person...
Luke
This person comes tearing into the place, in a caffeine frenzy...
Luke
I'm with a customer, she interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee. So I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. Finally I turn to her, and tell her she's being annoying. Sit down, shut up, and I'll get to her when I get to her.
You know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful...
Luke
She asked me my birthday. I wouldn't tell her, she wouldn't stop talking, finally I gave in. I told her my birthday. She went and got the newspaper, opened it up to the horoscopes page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me. So I was looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under Scorpio, she had written: 'You will meet an annoying woman. Give her coffee, and she'll go away.' So I gave her coffee.
Luke
She told me to hold onto that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and one day it would bring me luck.
[Luke takes his wallet out and shows Lorelai the horoscope.]
Boy, I will say anything for a cup of coffee! [long pause] I can't believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet...
Luke
Eight years.
Gilmore Girls · 747 quotes
