Rory Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Rory

This is just wrong!

Lorelai

What?

Rory

Your washing two socks!

Lorelai

They were dirty.

Rory

That's wasteful.

Lorelai

I really wanted to wear them tonight.

Rory

They are your dancing Santa Claus socks. You're not gonna wear them for another ten months.

Rory

I am going out with Robert.

Lorelai

Have I met this Robert?

Rory

No.

Lorelai

What's his last name?

Rory

Why? You think I made him up or something? [thinking] Grimaldi.

Lorelai

Okay

Rory

Robert...what's your last name?

Lorelai

My God. Is that Logan? It is Logan. I can't believe it. What a jerk.

Rory

Mom, it's okay.

Lorelai

No, it's not okay! He's sitting over there with a girl and - oh, no you don't. Get me a rock.

Rory

Mom -

Lorelai

I am beaning him with a rock!

Logan

Good. School’s good?

Rory

School’s hard.

Logan

Well, it’s supposed to be hard. It’s grounding you for life. Making you an upstanding citizen.

Rory

God-fearing Christian.

Logan

Habitual recycler.

Rory

I can't believe he's gone. He's been dying my whole life.

Lorelai

...Apparently he just closed his eyes, muttered something about Lori Loughlin and then, he was gone.

Rory

Wow, he's never died before

Lorelai

I guess there's a first time for everything

Lorelai

Hello, is somebody there?

Rory

[walking from her room into the kitchen] Hey, Mom!

Lorelai

[sighs] Hey, Mom? That's it? You just gave me a heart attack and all you have to say is 'hey, Mom'? I thought you were a vicious serial killer.

Rory

[getting a soda from the fridge] Who you were going to challenge to a pillow fight?

Paris

Look at us! We're happy. We have boyfriends. This is infinitely better than any mood-stablizer I've ever been on.

Rory

Oh shoot what time is it?

Paris

It's hammer-time.

Rory

Last night I couldn't sleep so I google-d your father.

Logan

Excuse me?

Rory

12,053 items came up. I could only pull up a couple thousand but it really helped. He was born in 1953. Episcopalian. Second of four children. Oldest boy. Yale undergrad. Star of the track team. No grad school. Interesting. Then he had a couple of lost years. A kind of blank period. A little Jesus thing going on there.

Rory

We're fondue purists, Grandma.

Lorelai

Yea we dip old school.

Emily

The government says you should have nine servings of fruits and vegetables per day.

Lorelai

Imperialist propaganda.

Rory

Noam Chomsky would agree.

Lorelai

I bet Noam doesn't dip fruit.

Rory

You've caught me up. Society's caught me up. The health channel on cable's caught me up. Miss Driscoll the sad spinster gym teacher at Stars Hollow High caught me up.

Lorelai

Miss Driscoll, right. Like she would ever need birth control.

Lorelai

I just ate an apple.

Rory

Uh oh.

Lorelai

Yeah. And I liked it.

Rory

Whoa!

Paris

I'm meeting more of Doyle's family tonight. I've been meeting people for months. He's got, like, five hundred cousins. And you know what? He's the tallest one in the family.

Rory

Really?

Paris

Yep. Family get-together is like a Lollipop Guild Convention. I have to stop myself from asking how it's going at the chocolate factory.

Rory

So dinner, drink, movie, that's really what we're doing tonight?

Logan

I don't understand why you won't just believe me. I'm tired, I just want a mellow evening with my girlfriend.

Rory

Last time you were mellow you had a hundred and four temperature and even then, we were bar-hopping for an hour before you fainted.

Logan

I didn't faint, I passed out. Drink, dinner, movie, that's it.

Rory

Fine.

[singing] For she's a jolly good felon, for she's a jolly good felon. For she's a jolly good felon! Which nobody can deny!

Logan

After the party, that is!

Rory

I read the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Lorelai

I have a Bible, although I may or may not have accidentally given it to Goodwill because I am remodeling, but Goodwill is a religious organization. I think.

Rory

I buy tons of Girl Scout cookies.

Lorelai

I have two "Mary is my Homegirl" t-shirts.

Emily

I'm so sorry to bother you, Rory - hello, Logan!

Logan

Hello, Emily.

Emily

Rory, could you check your closet? The maid hung up your dry cleaning today, and I am missing a blouse and I want to know whether or not to add this to the list of reasons I'm firing her.

Rory

Of course, I'll be right back. [She heads into the bedroom.]

Emily

Thank you, Rory. I'm so exhausted with incompetent people, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like every person I hire immediately gets hit in the head with a mallet on the way out of the employment office!