Lorelai Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Sookie

Oh my God, I just saw the cherubs. Ok, let's think. Maybe if you just strip the wood.

Lorelai

And light a match?

Sookie

And throw in a little gasoline.

Lorelai

Mom?

Emily

I'm in the cockpit.

Lorelai

Oh... add that to the list of things I thought I'd never hear my mother say.

Christopher

You're too unmaterialistic I've always thought that about you.

Lorelai

If it makes you feel any better I'll ask Rory if she wants a brewery or a Bentley.

Christopher

Or a castle. Don't forget the castle... It doesn't have to be in Ireland. It can be in Germany. Czech Republic. Scotland. Narnia.

Rory

They never invited their priest over to try and talk you out of having sex.

Lorelai

Five times! And on the last one, they triple-teamed with a priest, a rabbi, and a Mormon missionary. I made so many jokes that night I should have had a microphone and a brick wall behind me.

Lorelai

[picking up the coffee cup] What's different?

Rory

No Kalhua.

Town meeting!

Lorelai

What did they say?

Luke

There was a clown beating?

Lorelai

Huh! Not again.

Logan

I miss her, okay? I made a mistake and I'm trying to rectify it but nothing is working. She won't talk to me.

Lorelai

Can you blame her?

Logan

No. I'm doing everything I can. Flowers, gifts...

Lorelai

All your old standbys, huh?

Logan

Books, coffee cart...I'm trying to show her how I feel.

Lorelai

And it sounds like she's trying to show you how she feels.

Logan

Look. I figured this was a suicide mission, okay? It's probably something you and Rory will laugh about for years to come. But I'm not giving up until I exhaust all my options and asking for your help is one of them.

Lorelai

Really?

Logan

Yes.

Lorelai

You're seriously here to ask for my help with Rory? It's not a joke?

Logan

I'm going for broke here.

Taylor

[dressed "incognito'] Well I should go.

Lorelai

Back to 8 Mile?

Lorelai

Maybe we shouldn't watch this.

Sookie

It's hard not to.

Got a bit of tobacco in it. And a bit of marshmallow.

Sookie

Eww. Now I can't smoke a cigar or eat a marshmallow again.

Lorelai

How does one discover a talent for this?

Remember. We've got spit buckets if anyone needs one.

Lorelai

Kirk, you needed Carnival game volunteers and I volunteered. What's with the hassle?

Kirk

Well, we do things like ring toss and rope ladder climbing. Your choice is unorthodox.

Lorelai

That's because I'm not orthodox. I'm liberal with a touch of reform and a smidgen of zippity-pow!

Luke

Early morning chores?

Lorelai

You know. Milking Cows. Feeding Chickens. Slopping Pigs.

Luke

Slopping pigs?

Lorelai

Well. They're certainly not going to slop themselves.

Lorelai

He's completely in shock and he's trying to handle it the best he can.

Sookie

Drinking?

Lorelai

No.

Sookie

Xanax?

Lorelai

Solaris?

Rory

No. Not again.

Lorelai

I'm telling you there's a story there somewhere.

Rory

Yeah. The story is you, calling yourself Mrs. Clooney for two hours.

Emily

Number three?

Lorelai

Hmm?

Emily

The martini.

Lorelai

Helps settle my stomach.

Emily

Really?

Luke

What is this feeling, this tightness in the chest, this anger mixed with paralyzing weakness?

Lorelai

You've been Gilmored!