RRandy
They called me crazy for building this ark.
RSRandy's Partner
You ARE crazy. You filled it with same sex animal couples.
RRandy
Hey, there are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.
S4Crimes of the Hot
Oh, my God! It's out of ice, like some outer space Motel 6!
Completely out of ice?
This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it! Also, life.
Per your orders, I modified my mirror to fire a colossal electromagnetic pulse at the Galapagos. Every robot will be instantly and painfully terminated. Now for your part of the bargain.
RNRichard Nixon's head
Aroo! Very well. Agnew, you belong to Wernstrom now.
HBHeadless body of Spiro Agnew
Rrrrrrr!
RNRichard Nixon's head
For saving Earth and foiling me, I proudly yet angrily present you with our new highest honor: the Polluting Medal of Pollution.
With Halley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing a sudden case of global warming.
Morbo is pleased but sticky.
Strange. Why would Nixon, an awkward, uncomfortable man, suddenly throw a party, one of the most social events imaginable? Is a trap, is why! They're going to deactivate all the robots! [pause] I don't hear any gasping.
We all figured that out.
Aw...
DNDocumentary Narrator
Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap, last minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean now and again.
SSuzie
Just like daddy puts in his drink every morning. Then he gets mad.
DNDocumentary Narrator
Of course, because the greenhouse gasses are still building up, it takes more and more ice each time, thus solving the problem once and for all.
SSuzie
But...
DNDocumentary Narrator
Once and for all!
S4Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now I have to pay them!
Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.
But I like being old. I don't have to talk to my parents, no one asks me to help move their stuff, I don't need to understand today's "edgy" TV sitcoms
Fifty-three years old? Oh... now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
[While looking for the gargoyle Pazuzu, Farnsworth stops at a diner in Florida]
Yo, Captain Catarats. Why are we stopping here?
It's almost 2:30. Just in time for the early bird dinner special.
What about your gargoyle?
My wha?
MMandy
So this is the famous Fry. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface so he has to hang out in the sewer?
They're onto me.
We miss the turn. We'll never catch up.
Yes we will. This pipe goes under Planet Express, and it's 9:00 PM.
[cut to Planet Express; toilet flushes]
The devil take this predictable colon!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.