MCThe Lord Mayor of Colon
Worms, form a defensive squiggle!
S8 E4Parasites Regained
Alas, my mind has already degenerated to the point where I can no longer predict the ending of an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
S8 E5Related to Items You’ve Viewed
Fry and me, we used to have everything. Cabbage fights. Everything. But now I'm like a third wheel on a tricycle that used to have two wheels!
That's a bicycle.
You're a bicycle!
Yes, yes... The company deeply cares about your insert problem here.
This is a smart home assistant: always listening, always watching. But also respecting your privacy. Because privacy comes first. We call it Invasa.
Wow, robots. Cool!
Yes. They're much better than unions. I-I mean humans.
All of the robots work twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. With bonuses for overtime!
Daily business report. Go!
WWalt
According to the Department of Commerce, we've driven 10,000 small companies out of business. And the Department of Commerce also went out of business.
Um, we introduced the Momazon Primo service, where people pay a fortune for free shipping, and also get TV shows for some reason.
IIgner
We make TV shows across the quality spectrum.
How strange. I could have sworn we had an odd number of moons.
Aside from devastating tidal waves caused by the two full moons, we also have some very confused werewolves.
The warehouse is expanding beyond the sun! Mars! Jupiter!
The one with the onion rings!
S8 E6I Know What You Did Next Xmas
I'm sorry, kids. I never wanted you to know Santa was real.
Um, Professor, isn't it risky to go back in time and change history?
Oh my, yes. But I'll go alone to minimize the chance of anyone becoming their own grandfather.
These things happen.
No, they don't!
Ah, here comes the Big Backwards Bang. Ow! I'm being crushed by all the matter that ever was!
Now, hold on. Xmas isn't for a week. Until then, we've got non-stop busy work.
Oh, fuff! Let's stop pretending we do anything around here. Everyone, take the week off and be with your so-called loved ones!
Really?
I forgot I had loved ones!
It's a Human Resources miracle!
Behold, my family's traditional Yuletide feast - TurDolfin! It's fresh turtle cooked inside a fermented dolphin!
LLeo
Wow, soon it's gonna be barf inside a vomit!
Dad! Sssh! Keep the truth to yourself!
IInez
Which part smells like whale butt?
Oh, that would be the gravy!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.