If you were my kids, you'd get quite a talking to ... from your father ... when he got home from the Senate.
S3The Route of All Evil
You don't wanna miss the unveiling of our new company, do you?
Company? [He laughs.] How cute! What will you be pedalling? Lemonade? Shoe shines? Cootie insurance?
FFarnsworth
Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital!
[They laugh]
Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company.
[He pulls the sheet off to reveal a red "Awesome Express" logo. Hermes and Farnsworth look at each other and stand up]
Welcome to the world of business.
[He and Farnsworth kick the logo and smash it down]
Gets movings. These papers ain't gonna deliver themselveses. Only the Sunday edition can dos that.
How dare they call us kids? We're old enough to find the Fox network infantile.
People, as you know, our young sons have become great successes in the very same field as us.
All right!
That's great!
That's good.
Naturally, we're humiliated.
That's why we need you, our loyal crew, to make Planet Express eight-hundred-percent more profitable.
We'll start by slashing salaries. And this time, I mean REALLY slashing.
Uh, guys, I don't know how to tell you this... so I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly.
[cheerfully] We don't work for you anymore!
[Hermes gasps]
What?!
[Dwight and Cubert have taken over Planet Express]
YOU ROTTEN KIDS! Uh, will you be hiring?
No.
YOU ROTTEN KIDS!
Ah, beer. So many choices, and it makes so little difference.
How 'bout Löwbrau? It has dots.
Overruled! The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot.
I can't drink that. The metal shavings make my throat bloody.
Wah, wah! Baby wants a Zima!
Hey, hey! We can all fight when we're drunk.
S3Bendin' in the Wind
[Sal digs up a VW bus in front of Fry and Bender]
What's that? One of those Led Zeppelins I've heard so much about?
No, it's an old Volkswagen van. [to Sal, shouting] Hey, Mister? Mind if I take this old van?
Sure. You wanna dump the corpses out of theres, it's yourses.
Yeah, yeah, I've gotten used cars before.
[Cut to Fry pushing the VW bus into Planet Express]
What's that? One of those Jefferson Starships I've heard so much about?
It's called a van, and in light of the fact that it's not a-rockin', I invite you to come a-knockin'!
Where's the device that lets you speed or slow the passage of time?
Under the seat. [Holds up a bong]
She just needs some gas.
Wrong again, idiot. There is no gas. Petroleum preserves went dry in 2038.
Gas was an environmental disaster, anyway. Now we use alternative fuels.
Like what?
Whale oil. Bender, lift it up to the can opener.
Oh, no! I'm not going near it. Last time, that magnetic psycho nearly cut my head off.
Oh, right. Plus, the magnet screws up your inhibition unit and makes you sing folk songs.
What? Who said anything about me secretly wanting to be a folk singer? How ridiculous.
Bender, if you don't open that can right now, your fear will own you, and nothing that can opener could ever do would be worse than that.
OK, OK, I can do this. It's time to take life by the cans.
Come on!
You can do it!
Bender!
Go on, you dummy!
Jimmy crack corn and I don't care,
Jimmy crack corn and I don't care,
Oh, no!
Jimmy crack corn and I don't care,
'Cause the master's gone away.
It's toe-tappingly tragic!
Hey, the blues. The tragic sound of other people's suffering. That's kind of a pick-me-up.
Hey, yeah, I could write a song! With real words, not phoney ones like "odelay".
BBeck
"Odelay" is a word. Just look it up in the Becktionary.
No, don't you see? I was a hero to broken robots 'cause I was one of them. But how can I sing about being damaged if I'm not? That's like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish. Wait, that's it! I'll fake it!
[upon seeing the factory of broken robot parts] That is so wrong! They can't just melt down broken robots not right when they're kissing my ass!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.