Zoidberg quotes from Futurama

Fry

Wait. Why didn't that hurt? [stretches pants to check] Aggghhh! My wing-wang's gone!

Leela

My girls!

Bender

My antenna!

My kajigger!

Zoidberg

My gonopores!

Zoidberg

Look it up.

Hermes

You wanna see a picture of my boy?

Zoidberg

Sure. [Hermes presents photo] That's your penis!

Hermes

That's my boy!

Zoidberg

Hey, look, a fog is rolling in.

Hermes

No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.

Amy

Looks like it's speeding up.

Hermes

Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float!

Hey, scuttle on home. Dis ain't none of your business, slick.

Zoidberg

My name isn't Slick, it's Zoidberg. JOHN (beep)ing ZOIDBERG!

Fry

You can't just kill somebody because they're ugly and corrosive.

Amy

That's what we said about Zoidberg, and look where that got us.

Zoidberg

Amy makes a good point.

Zoidberg

Is this one o' those "No means yes" deals?!

Prof. Farnsworth

Yes and no.

Zoidberg

I'm afraid Fry lost a lot of juice. He's developed Simpson's Jaundice.

Fry

[with yellow skin] Ay, carumba!

Zoidberg

His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.

Leela

Well, if it'll help Fry...

Fry

Careful, Leela. He knows less about human anatomy than I do, and I can't even find my own uterus.

Zoidberg

Here my words. My shell may be tough like a samurai honeymoon mask, but inside I'm as soft and sensitive as a girl made of custard.

Cubert

Custard Time?! Hooray!

Prof. Farnsworth

Zoidberg, you are the greatest hero. You saved us all.

Zoidberg

For now. But another threat from the stars is sure to arise [mouth stops moving] next week at the same time!

Zoidberg

You don't understand. He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.

Leela

I insult you, you fat sack.

Zoidberg

Sure, when it's convenient.

Leela

Zoidberg this makes no sense. Why are you helping him?

Bender

And what's with that catchy beat?

Zoidberg

I'll tell you, 2, 3, 4.

If I sliced up his Cyborg skull

He wants a brain

Zoidberg

He wants a robot brain

Another brain

Zoidberg

Let see if he fells pain

A brand new brain

Zoidberg

It might drive him insane

He wants a brain.

Zoidberg

He wants a robot brain

wa uuuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuu...

Amy

Does anybody else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?

Fry

Oh, loosen up, Amy!

Farnsworth

My condolences, LaBarbara. I hope you find some comfort in staring at this throbbing mass of nerve tissue.

Bender

Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones and you'll wind up face down in a pool of your own blood and urine.

Zoidberg

Still, to have your own pool!

Zoidberg

It's so wonderful to meet the Professor's parents! [to Ned and Velma] Hello, my name is Dr. Zoidberg. I'm very important here.

Leela

Hey, Zoidberg! You forgot to empty this trashcan!

Zoidberg

[scared] Don't hit me!

Prof. Farnsworth

My God! He was so saturated with ink that his entire body structure was polarized!

Zoidberg

You mean I'm invisible?

Prof. Farnsworth

No, no, no, not in any sense of the word. But essentially, yes, entirely.