[in an airplane, we see Jesse and Joey...]
Jess, you're totally out of your mind.
I know. I said I'd never get in a plane with you.
No, I'm talking about skydiving. It's crazy.
People say it's the ultimate rush. I took all the lessons, but I never jumped because it was too windy. Joseph, I gotta have this one last adventure before I get married.
Do you have to do this on your wedding day?
This is the last hour of my life as a single guy. Pretty soon, I'm gonna be married, I'm gonna have a family with all the responsibilities. I mean, what am I gonna do then? Jump out of a station wagon?
Well, you could. Your chute might not open in time.
Joey, look. I have to do this one last crazy thing before I give it all up for the woman that I love.
Isn't flying with me crazy enough?
How about when I do this?
[Joey makes a looping while Jesse screams]
Don't do that! [he hits Joey in the head] I got this all planned out. I stashed my Harley, I got my tux on. I do the jump, hop on my Harley, cruise to the chapel, and have just enough time to re-mousse my hair and say "I do."
Great plan. Can I make one little suggestion?
Joey, this is just something I have to do for myself, alright?
Alright. Have a safe trip. Good luck, buddy.
[Jesse goes to the open plane door and puts on his helmet]
Oh, and Joseph? If anything goes wrong... I want you to marry Becky.
[he looks out of the door, into the depth]
[he takes a deep breath and jumps]
Oh my god! He jumped without his... mousse!
[we find Jesse still stuck in the tree]
Hey! Help! Help me! [sees a large truck of tomatoes] Hey, you with the tomato truck, stop! I'm up in the tree, up here!
[a red-haired man in overalls named Farmer Bob exits the truck]
FBFarmer Bob
Hey, whatcha doin' up there, fella?
Oh, just enjoying the view. What do you think I'm doing? Can you help me down, please?
FBFarmer Bob
Well, yeah. Sure. I'll tell you what, I'll go get Old Man Hudson's cherry picker.
Alright. Well, hurry up. I was supposed to be at my wedding ten minutes ago, thanks.
FBFarmer Bob
Well, I imagine we'll have you down in two, three hours tops. Now don't you go anywhere.
What?! I can't wait that long! [he tries to shake himself loose. the parachute breaks] Mercy!
[lands in the back of the tomato truck]
FBFarmer Bob
What are you doing? Those are my prized tomatoes you just squashed.
[Jesse spits out some seeds from one of the tomatoes]
Well, they're not tomatoes anymore, they're ketchup. I just cut out the middleman.
FBFarmer Bob
Is that-is that some sort of tomato joke? You better watch your mouth, boy. This here's Tomato Country.
I have nothing but the highest regards for tomatoes and the men and women that do grow them. But I need a ride to San Fransisco right now.
FBFarmer Bob
I don't give rides to tomato-squashers.
Hey, Red. This is my life we're talking about, okay? Not some dumb vegetable.
FBFarmer Bob
It's a fruit.
Fruit, vegetable... Look, the point is, I like you, Red, and-and I like tomatoes, a lot, believe me. And I like your red hair, and you know what? I like your truck. And I'm gonna borrow it, and I'll get it right back to you.
[gets in the truck and closes the door]
FBFarmer Bob
Hey, get back here! Open that door! [Jesse starts the engine] Hey, hold it! [a police car drives up to the scene] Cousin Harold. [the officer gets out of the car] Cousin Harold, that boy just smashed every one of my tomatoes!
HOfficer Harold
Smashed your tomatoes?
FBFarmer Bob
Yeah, he's trespassing on my property, and now he's trying to steal my truck!
HOfficer Harold
[walks to the truck with a megaphone] Get out of that truck! Put your hands up! Now!
[Jesse exits the truck]
Hi, guys. Listen, you guys are making a big mistake here. Look, I'm just... I'm late for my wedding. See, look at this, I've got my tux on and everything. See?
HOfficer Harold
Well, here's a bracelet to go with it.
[slaps the cuffs on Jesse]
Wait a minute, guys. Guys, you're making a big mistake here.
HOfficer Harold
No, you made the mistake.
FBFarmer Bob
[megaphone] Do you know where you landed?
The Making of a Wedding, the saga continues. The groom is now 25 minutes late, and here's the man who let him jump out of a plane on his wedding day, Joey Gladstone. Joey, how do you feel right now?
Sad, hurt, angry, bitter, scared, used, and I'm pretty hungry. I forgot to eat breakfast.
Poor Joey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And here's Becky with her loving family. Any words for Uncle Jesse?
Darling, I just hope you're alright. But if you are alright, I'll kill you.
[to Jesse] I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, pal. But we have to put on our bravest faces now. So let me see your brave face. Can you smile for me? [Michelle forces a small smile] That a girl. All right, now that we've got this whole bravery thing down, I want you to give me the biggest, most gigantic, most greatest hug you ever gave me in the whole entire world. Ready? Go! Hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug! [they hug and kiss, Jesse settles Michelle on his lap] That a girl.
This is a good-bye present.
Michelle, it's your pig. Are you sure?
Well, in that case, here. I want you to have this. This is my pink bunny. I want you to put it up on the wall, and whenever you look at it, you can think of me, okay?
[kisses Michelle and sets her down on the bed; gets up to leave and looks back at her] Good-bye, Michelle.
[He leaves Michelle's room; they both cry silently]
Uncle Jesse locked me out.
Now, why would Uncle Jesse do something like that?
I don't know. I'm a fun girl.
Well, I'm just guessing, Michelle, but I think Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky just want some privacy.
Well, privacy means that they just wanna spend some time together. Just the two of them.
What are they doing in there?
Well, they're um... They're doing their taxes.
Are they gonna do their taxes every night?
For the first couple of months.
