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S4

Full House · Season 4

“The Wedding (2)” quotes from Full House

3 quotes

“The Wedding (2)” · Season 4

In this episode: Danny Tanner (1), Jesse Katsopolis (1), Michelle Tanner (1), Stephanie Tanner (1), Joey Gladstone (1), Rebecca Donaldson-Katsopolis (1)

[we find Jesse still stuck in the tree]

Hey! Help! Help me! [sees a large truck of tomatoes] Hey, you with the tomato truck, stop! I'm up in the tree, up here!

[a red-haired man in overalls named Farmer Bob exits the truck]

FBFarmer Bob

Hey, whatcha doin' up there, fella?

Oh, just enjoying the view. What do you think I'm doing? Can you help me down, please?

FBFarmer Bob

Well, yeah. Sure. I'll tell you what, I'll go get Old Man Hudson's cherry picker.

Alright. Well, hurry up. I was supposed to be at my wedding ten minutes ago, thanks.

FBFarmer Bob

Well, I imagine we'll have you down in two, three hours tops. Now don't you go anywhere.

What?! I can't wait that long! [he tries to shake himself loose. the parachute breaks] Mercy!

[lands in the back of the tomato truck]

FBFarmer Bob

What are you doing? Those are my prized tomatoes you just squashed.

[Jesse spits out some seeds from one of the tomatoes]

Well, they're not tomatoes anymore, they're ketchup. I just cut out the middleman.

FBFarmer Bob

Is that-is that some sort of tomato joke? You better watch your mouth, boy. This here's Tomato Country.

I have nothing but the highest regards for tomatoes and the men and women that do grow them. But I need a ride to San Fransisco right now.

FBFarmer Bob

I don't give rides to tomato-squashers.

Hey, Red. This is my life we're talking about, okay? Not some dumb vegetable.

FBFarmer Bob

It's a fruit.

Fruit, vegetable... Look, the point is, I like you, Red, and-and I like tomatoes, a lot, believe me. And I like your red hair, and you know what? I like your truck. And I'm gonna borrow it, and I'll get it right back to you.

[gets in the truck and closes the door]

FBFarmer Bob

Hey, get back here! Open that door! [Jesse starts the engine] Hey, hold it! [a police car drives up to the scene] Cousin Harold. [the officer gets out of the car] Cousin Harold, that boy just smashed every one of my tomatoes!

HOfficer Harold

Smashed your tomatoes?

FBFarmer Bob

Yeah, he's trespassing on my property, and now he's trying to steal my truck!

HOfficer Harold

[walks to the truck with a megaphone] Get out of that truck! Put your hands up! Now!

[Jesse exits the truck]

Hi, guys. Listen, you guys are making a big mistake here. Look, I'm just... I'm late for my wedding. See, look at this, I've got my tux on and everything. See?

HOfficer Harold

Well, here's a bracelet to go with it.

[slaps the cuffs on Jesse]

Wait a minute, guys. Guys, you're making a big mistake here.

HOfficer Harold

No, you made the mistake.

FBFarmer Bob

[megaphone] Do you know where you landed?

Tomato Country?

The Making of a Wedding, the saga continues. The groom is now 25 minutes late, and here's the man who let him jump out of a plane on his wedding day, Joey Gladstone. Joey, how do you feel right now?

Sad, hurt, angry, bitter, scared, used, and I'm pretty hungry. I forgot to eat breakfast.

Poor Joey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And here's Becky with her loving family. Any words for Uncle Jesse?

Darling, I just hope you're alright. But if you are alright, I'll kill you.

[as the flower girl] Stop the wedding!

Michelle, what's wrong?

I ran out of flowers. I'm sorry.

Michelle, it's not your fault you ran outta flowers. The problem is the church is much too long.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Full House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.