Excuse me sir, littering is bad for the Earth!
S6 E19Subterranean Graduation Blues
S6 E23The House Meets The Mouse (1)
Stephanie, she's just a little kid.
Yeah, and Chucky was just a doll.
S6 E24The House Meets The Mouse (2)
Michelle, you know you're not supposed to wander off by yourself.
But Daddy, I was so mad.
Now, that's no excuse. We're gonna have a long talk about this later.
But Daddy, I'm the princess, and nobody would do what I told them.
Sounds like you were trying to be the boss.
The princess is the boss.
Bruce Springsteen is the boss.
S7 E2The Apartment
[DJ and Steve are preoccupied with kissing in the cab of the cement truck which causes her foot to accidentally hit a lever that makes the chute turn into the kitchen window and cement to pour onto the floor. And Joey is preoccupied listening to his meditation tape and repeating what it says]
"I am at peace. I am soaring."
[Danny and Jesse come down the back stairway]
Man. What a mess up there, Jess. Is there anything worse than ground leaves in a carpet?
[sees the wet cement pouring into the kitchen while Joey is still meditating] Yep.
[sees it as well] My kitchen! Joey, do something! [but he can't hear him] [to Jesse] I'll try to keep it from spreading, you catch it off the chute!
[Jesse tries to catch the cement in his hands and uses a mug, which are both useless, then he tries to do it with his shirt]
Not your shirt! Get a bowl! A bowl!
A bowl. Right. Right.
[tries to sweep the cement on the floor] Oh, no!
[grabs the fruit bowl from the table and dumps the fake fruit down the stairs] Here. I got a bowl. I got a bowl.
No, no, no, not that bowl! That's my fine china!
[Jesse tosses it to Danny; runs to the fridge, grabs the big punch bowl from on top, and runs back to start filling it]
No! No! Not that one! Not that bowl! My mother gave me that! [Jesse tries to use his hand to wipe the cement out of the bowl and throws it to Danny] Oh, Jesse!
[pulls out a drawer from the cabinet next to what used to be the window] How 'bout this drawer? Do you have any emotional attachment to the drawer?
No. I mean, I like it, but...
[Jesse empties the drawer and catches the cascading cement in it]
I'm going down!
[as the weight of the cement brings him to his knees]
You know, uh...this, uh, this broom is not working.
[sees the broom is broken]
Turn off the truck!
Turn off the truck? Why didn't I think of that? You know, it's weird when your adrenaline's running like this you forget the most obvious thing that you could be doing.
The truck, Dan.
"The truck." I'll turn off the truck. That's what I'll do. [struggles to open the back door and eventually gets out] Uh! Oh!
Joey!
"Sniff the minty woodlands." [as Jesse reaches for him] "There. Now, aren't we calm and placid?"
S7 E11The Bicycle Thief
[Jesse and Michelle enter the house]
Hey, everybody. Uncle Jesse got my bike back.
It's no big deal. All I did was outwit a 9-year-old. It's not like he was jeopardy material or anything. What the heck is that?
Michelle's bike. What the heck is that?
Hey, guys. Guess who found Michelle's... bike?
Seems to be the question of the day.
Wow, I've got three bikes!
No, honey, not all of them are yours. One of them is, but which one?
I like this one. It looks brand-new.
Sweetheart, I didn't ask which one you liked the best. I asked you which one is yours?
Let's see. Mine has a Kermit sticker on the basket.
Well, would you settle for a Care Bear on the chainguard?
None of these bikes are mine. Mine's still stolen.
So are all these.
And we're the stealers.
You're all going to the slammer.
[we find the family still together in the living room...]
Daddy, if you have a stomachache, could you stay home from the slammer?
Sweetheart, we are not going to the slammer. We're just gonna return these bikes to their rightful owners.
So everybody gets their bike back except me? That's fair.
How am I supposed to return this? I stole it off a kid named Davey. All I know about him is I should've stolen his trumpet too.
I found mine leaning against the library. This horrible thing. A little girl goes in, checks out Curious George, comes out, her bike's gone. Could turn a kid off to reading forever.
I grabbed mine off the back of a pickup. Oh, great. There's a card in it. "Happy Birthday, Lisa. Love, Mom and Dad."
[Stephanie, D.J., and Steve show Danny fliers concerning the missing bicycles]
Hey, Mr. Tanner, look at this. Little Ruth Bell went in to get her first library card. Some goon nabbed her bike. Says here she lost her zest for reading.
She's zestless?
Yeah. [shows a mediocre sketch of Jesse on another flier] And look at this guy who took Davey Schultz's bike. He looks exactly like Uncle...
Uncle Seymour! Yes. That looks exactly like Uncle Seymour. And if he weren't a priest in Athens, he would be a suspect. Yes, he would.
[after he and D.J. threw the missing bikes safely out the window] Hey, Mr. Tanner, look. I hope you weren't too attached to that big ceramic planter.
S7 E14The Last Dance
Papouli, you remember Rebecca.
PPapouli
Who could forget Rebecca?!
I bet you could.
[The Tanner family is seated at the table, heartbroken that Papouli has passed away]
It's like a...a bad dream or something.
I know. [hugs Jesse] I know. [sniffles] But you know, at least Papouli died peacefully in his sleep, you know?
We know how much he meant to you, Jess. He meant a lot to us too.
We're all gonna miss him. [Rebecca comforts D.J.]
[sighs] It's just... [stands up] so helpless, it's like...if I could have been there, I would have done something, you know I could've helped him...I could
[interrupts] Jess, honey...honey, honey...[hugs Jesse] there was nothing that you could do. There was nothing any of us could do.
[sighs] You're right. [walks back to the table] He was just such a beautiful man. Just so full of love and life. Now he's gone.
Uncle Jesse, you okay?
[wipes his tears] Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. [stands up] You know, I, I don't have time for this. I got so many things to do, make the arrangements...
Well, if you want help...
Yeah Jess, we, we can take care of all that.
You know what, it's my responsibility. Just...I'm sorry guys, I'll...I'll...I'll take it from here. [goes upstairs]
Why won't Uncle Jesse let us help him?
Aw honey, it's just his way of dealing with the pain, you know? By keeping busy. [Michelle enters the house]
Hi everybody!
Hi Michelle. [kisses Michelle]
Hi Daddy.
How was your honeybee meeting?
It was great! [shows her school project] I made this for Papouli. Where is he? [Stephanie tearfully looks at Joey, and Joey looks somber as the Tanner family must deliver Michelle the sad news]
Michelle, Papouli's not here. [Michelle looks at Joey, Stephanie, D.J. and Rebecca who are visibly emotional]
[comforting D.J., who is crying] It's okay.
Something's wrong. [Danny sadly nods]
Um, sweetheart, this is um, this is not easy to say to you. Um, this morning, after you went to school, we uh, went to wake up Papouli. Michelle, he died in his sleep last night.
What?
He was, he was just, he was very old, and his heart gave out.
No, he's not dead! [throws her school project to the floor and runs upstairs, visibly upset. Danny follows her as Rebecca and Joey respectively comfort D.J. and Stephanie]
S8 E1Comet's Excellent Adventure
I've just been notified that our family dog Comet is missing.
(runs up to Danny) Dad, Comet is missing.
I've just been notified again.
S8 E2Breaking Away
Honey, look at this. Two little lunch-boxes with two little handles that they'll hold as they walk out of our lives. Jess, they're not ready for preschool. They're just little boys.
Honey, they're not boys. They're men. They're Katsopolis men.
S8 E3Making Out Is Hard To Do
Do you have any idea what your daughter's been up to?
Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?
Yes, I have laryngitis.
When children seem the least lovable, it means they need love the most.
Do you always talk like a fortune cookie?
Actually, it was the Thought for the Day on my Ziggy desk calendar.
Steph, let me put it this way. Before it can soar like an eagle, the young baby bird must stumble and fall, and spend two whole weeks grounded in the nest with no TV.
Hey, is that from your Ziggy calendar?
No, but I'm thinking of submitting it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Full House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.