Chandler Bing quotes from Friends

Chandler

Not to be rude, but does anyone know how to get a chick out of a VCR?

Chandler

Now you just stay out here, and think about what you did!

Chandler

[referring to Rachel's oversized sombrero hat] Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me! I can't have children!

Chandler

The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three... it hurts!

Chandler

[Phoebe eats his sandwich out of his hand] I've got a Phoebe in my sandwich.

Chandler

[giving up on his resolution not to make fun of his friends] I can't take it any more! So you win, okay? Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today - Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What? Are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?

Chandler

Ross, just for my own peace of mind -- you're not married to any more of us, are you?

Chandler

I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die!

Chandler

But you're not gonna die... I mean... you -- you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today... I wish I was dead.

Chandler

Ah, "Hotties of the Paleontology Department." There's a big-selling calendar, eh?

Chandler

I mean, if you're not careful, you may not get married at all this year.

Chandler

But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

Chandler

Brenda, a bee! Yes! it's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!

Chandler

Why have I seen this thing three times?!

Chandler

I'm not great with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?... Cheese?

Chandler

[About Parker] Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.