Chandler Bing quotes from Friends

Chandler

So, What do you do when you're not working here?

Gunther

You don't need to fill these silences.

Chandler

Okay! Thanks...

Chandler

Next time you snore, I'm rolling you over!!

Joey

I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do...

Chandler

Wah-pah!

Ross

What's Wah-pah?

Chandler

Whipped.. Wah-pah!

Joey

That's not whipped. Whipped is.. [Whipping sound]

Chandler

That's what i did.. Wah-pah!

Joey

You can't do anything!

Chandler

We have to do something huge .

Joey

We could climb Mount Everest.

Chandler

I told we have to do something huge. Not something stupid...

Chandler

[to everyone in the room] I've decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther!

Gunther

What is my last name?

Chandler

[short pause] Central... Perk?

Ross

Everything so far sounds great, Joey. Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out, playing poker. No strippers or anything, okay?

Joey

You got it!

Ross

OK, see you later.

Chandler

Have fun planning your "mellow" bachelor party!

Joey

Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers.

Chandler

He just said, "No strippers."

Joey

Oh. I chose not to hear that.

Monica

Guys, hurry up. The flight leaves in four hours. It could take time to get a taxi. There could be traffic. The plane could leave early. When we get to London, there could be a line at customs. Come on!

Chandler

6-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.

Ross

[storming into Chandler's room] I'm getting married today!!! Whoo-hoo!!!

Chandler

[covered up in bed] Morning, Ross.

Ross

I'm getting married to...day!!!

Chandler

Yeah, you are.

Ross

[leaving the room] Whoo-hoo!!!

Monica

[popping head out from under Chandler's covers] Do you think he knew I was here?

Joey

You know, I think that went well.

Chandler

It could've been worse; he could have shot her.

Chandler

So, uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?

Phoebe

They're gonna call her Chandler.

Chandler

That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?

Phoebe

Works on you.

Monica

I'm really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time.

Chandler

Me, too. What if we went away for the weekend? No interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.

Chandler

I'll say I have a conference and you can have a... uh... chef thing.

Monica

I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!

Chandler

Okay! You know you're not, though.

Joey

That hotel you stayed at called. They said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.

Joey

I figured you hooked up with some girl and she left it.

Chandler

That would have made more sense.

Joey

I don't even feel like I know you any more. All right, I'm just going to ask you this one time. Whatever you say, I'll believe you. Were you or were you not on a gay cruise?

Chandler

It happened in London.

Joey

IN LONDON??!!!

Phoebe

Can you hear anything?

Chandler

Oh, yeah, someone just said, "Can you hear anything?"

Monica

Hey, Joey's ass. What are you doing?

Joey

[About Ross and Rachel] Well, remember when they had that big fight and broke up, and we got stuck in here with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, you know? So I hid this in here.

Monica

Ooh! Candy bars, crossword puzzles...

Phoebe

Ooh, Mad Libs! MINE!

Chandler

Condoms?

Joey

Hey, you don't know how long we're gonna be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth!

Chandler

And condoms are the way to do that?

Monica

I'm sorry.

Chandler

Well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home.